The Caged Bird

Title (5/5)
Title's sporadic! For me, the title made this one-shot inspiring. Jaejoong, in this story, is like a caged bird trap in his past, and then he found a wounded bird and took care of it. I don't know how to explain what I feel right now in words --- but that bird thing was unexpected and yet an amazing idea together with an emotionless Jaejoong.

Just wow, 'The Caged Bird' is a unique title! Just perfect for the plot!

Poster & Background & Trailer (7/10)
Cool poster. I like the animated fonts, but maybe everything's too red including the background. Still creative, but would've been impressing if there's a caged bird in the poster too, or just a normal bird flying instead of a rose.

Description & Foreword (8/10)
How does it take to piece together a fractured soul?

Wow, just by reading the first sentence pulled me in.

I like your vocabulary, I didn't even know what grotesque meant until I found that word in your story and decided to search about it on the internet. You have great vocabulary! However, I don't understand pocelain skin. Okay, so I'm not quite sure about this because English isn't my major language and I'm still --- underage...

As far as I've learned in my English class, they call it porcelain skin. So, I think you just missed the letter 'r'. Also, when there is the word 'as' after a vowel word, the word 'an' should be added. I actually look up on you as an English expert, so correct me if I'm wrong. 'Ugly proof' begins with a vowel letter and sound so 'an' must be added before it. 

Anyway, the description is interesting. I was immediately captivated with the thought 'what is his past? nightmare?' and of how Jaejoong can get over it. Will he meet someone to love? Will he fall in love for the first time and learn to forget about his past? What would happen in the end? That kind of questions popped out of my mind again! I'll talk more about it in the 'plot' area thingy.

Forwored is written very well. I was reading it slowly as if I was narrating in my mind, and imagining what was happening as if I was watching a movie. The words sound so agonizing!

Plot (8/10)

Frankly, this one shot gave me a feeling as if I was watching a movie. I felt scared, I felt sorry for Jaejoong, I smiled when Yunho first appeared and I imagined a really great melody with Yunho's image whistling a melody. I felt glad when Jaejoong asked Yunho for help with the bird. Characters are well-created! The plot's so inspirational. Although it shows off a warm and calm feeling, it wasn't boring at all. Their first meeting, the bird who needed help, Jaejoong's past and his nightmares... FASCINATING!

Jaejoong shared his reason and problem to Yunho, and even though Yunho said nothing, they understood each other. In that scene, I felt like the happiest fan in the world.

I admit that I wanted something more romantic that this, but their friendship here was enough. There was nothing romantic except the fact that when Jaejoong met Yunho, he managed to escape from his nightmares. Jaejoong remembered Yunho whistling a captivating melody which helped him with his escape. That's cool.  I just love the friendship between the two main characters! Inspiring people, story and a bird.

 I WAS REALLY TOUCHED!

Originality (8/10)
It was okay, but not exactly original. Jaejoong was a drug addict. That's the past that keeps on haunting him in his sleep. I was expecting something else. Nevertheless, things still went well because of your amazing writing style and the bird thing.

Flow (5/5)
Perfect.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (29/30)

I can't be sure. I was so into the plot that I didn't know if I saw major errs or not.

Writing Style (10/10)

Amazing. Just excellent. If not because of your writing style, I wouldn't be this impressed and glad I read your story.

Overall Enjoyment (9/10)
I loved it!!! I read your story in the library and began with an emotionless expression, and ended with a smile on my face. The ending was well-done. Letting the bird free made Jaejoong free. That was an unusual ending!

Total – 89/100%

Congratz! This story will be on our recommended list!

Reviewer: sususco123