Scared Of Losing You.

Title (2/5)

The title reflects your story. It was mostly about how the main leads feel for each other, so yeah that's a good choice of title but for me it wasn't very eye-catching. I thought the title sounded bland and cliché.

Maybe there could have been other titles that would be perfect for your story but then again I can't even think of a better one. Your title is just not that good enough.

And why is there a dot at the end? Delete that! It doesn't make it catchy at all.

Poster & Background & Trailer (4/10)

It's a dull poster. I don't really like it but there's a little feeling in the poster or something I see that made it look a little bit interesting. Jonghyun there looked as if he is searching for someone as if he is scared to lose Liliana *for me he is* which looked perfectly fit (for the title) if that was made into a real poster with a title and with Liliana. However, that doesn't even look like the real cover for your story. It's only like a photo picked somewhere in tumblr or google.

Description & Foreword (8/10)

The description was fine. It wasn't interesting really. From the very moment I read your description, I immediately lose interest. I mean, yeah sure, your English was quite good but that's like a poem or a lyric in your description. It could have been better with a teaser or just a short synopsis or something. The foreword is okay, I mean, there's nothing to complain about. Forewords are usually author's note.

Plot (5/10)

That was absolutely a comprehensive plot. It’s enthralling to read. I enjoyed it, but not to the extent that I’d go crazy over it. Since you had a common plot, with a star and an average girl living in together and the guy began cheating and being cold to his girl, it did not make me enjoy it to the fullest. I’ve read stories just like that so it didn’t impress me anymore. What made me go on and read was your writing style. It’s not very neat since you have bold texts everywhere, but I’ve got to say this, it looked beautiful and intriguing to read. I could feel the angst throughout my body.

However, I tend to hate stories with cheating guys especially when they realize that they still love this girl but then leave this girl for a certain reason. Like what your readers commented, Jonghyun here is a bipolar. But who can blame him when he did that for something important? I have only read 24 chapters so I haven’t read the next one on how Jonghyun would explain all his reason of being a bipolar. I hope you could explain that soon. I’m giving you a five in here, since it wasn’t a very good plot for me.

Originality (3/10)

With a generic plot, I can say it’s not original. I know you did some twist in there, but it wasn’t that original as well. It was also predictable at some parts. The only part that should be original is Jonghyun’s reason of breaking up with Liliana. He better be reasonable when he says that in the future.

Flow (3/5)

It wasn’t that fast or slow, but there was a time when it suddenly went into that scene from that scene. Once Jonghyun took Liliana away from Seunghyun, the next chapter Jonghyun was at his house crying and Liliana came in to comfort him and then she all of the sudden forgives him. Looks like she can’t resist him. It went rushing all of the sudden.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary(23/30)

Good actually, but I still saw some errors everywhere. There wasn’t much yet it looked as if you haven’t proofread your story yet, or just haven’t read it carefully before publishing it. Well, I’ve got to tell you what little things I found.

In chapter 4 (I forgot the complete sentence, but here is where the error was found) – You tone of voice. If you can see carefully, even if that’s a one sentence already, it’s just not right. Not working definitely. It should be: Your tone of voice.

Also, this is wrong: Lets go!

You cannot say that without punctuation after the letter ‘t’ you know. There’s a difference with ‘Let’s’ and ‘Lets’. Let's is a contraction for "let us." Whilst ‘Lets’ is the third person singular of the verb "let." So when you said ‘Lets go’, it’s wrong.

Repetitive words. That’s another error. I forgot the exact chapter but there was a part when you repeated ‘you stood up’ in one sentence. Might as well delete the other one to make it perfect.

Periods or dots. I’ve noticed in your story that you always type two periods after a sentence. Make it three because two is not necessary. Another thing is the use of present tense to past tense, sometimes it makes everything confusing.

Vocabulary is quite good. Everything was good but it’ll be very good if you correct some errors.

Writing Style (8/10)

I love your writing style (would be because of my favorite font too). But sometimes, it’s just confusing. The point of views is Liliana’s then Jonghyun’s. Of course, it would be confusing if you tell us who’s P.O.V. it was after the chapter or in your little author’s note at the end. It would be better if you put Liliana’s P.O.V. before you start writing. That way, it wouldn’t be so confusing. Not all readers actually read author’s note you know, that includes me but I had to read it so I could understand whose point of view I was reading. Still I suggest, you put above whose narrating.

Also, having bold texts wasn’t necessary but caught my eyes actually, because that way it made me feel the angst I’ve been expecting in your story. The only complain is the different point of view.

Overall Enjoyment (6/10)

I enjoyed reading it but because I hate Jonghyun’s bipolar attitude here, it made me lose interest because a bipolar person is one of the most annoying person in the world. And I couldn’t even understand him. I know right, your story is not finished yet. It’s actually a cliffhanger; I don’t even know why Jonghyun broke up with the Liliana. Ha-ha. Good story! (At first sight, I actually thought it would be a where Jonghyun would be cheating with a guy xD but that was at first)

Total Score – 62/100%

Reviewer: sususco123