What You Don't Know Can't Hurt You

Title (3/5)
I like it but then I don’t like it—I mean it’s well suited for your story but I think a better title could have been used.

Poster & Background & Trailer (5/10)
Not exactly loving the poster—it’s plain and simple, but that’s all I see about—there’s no connection with your story. The whole point of having a poster is to give your readers a feel of how your story is going to be like—will be it a cutesy story? Maybe angst-y or maybe comedic! There has to be a connection between your poster and your story—people judge a story (book) based on its’ cover.

The background is fine.

Description & Foreword (3/10)
The description is fine—doesn’t fully capture my attention.

The foreword should not contain an author’s note rather it should contain an excerpt, prologue or a quote relevant to your story! You can add in your author’s note at the end of the foreword not the beginning!

Plot (1/10)
I’m confused with your plot—so far, what I got is Minhyun living in New York and she’s a teacher. She and Woohyun are friends with benefits… and she’s going to leave for South Korea. Then, from your description, she’s going to return back to New York. So… the point of her flying to Korea is what?

To be brutally honest, it’s not very interesting—even though this is just the beginning, you should be able to capture my attention right away.

Originality (7/10)
Somewhat an original—it’s common to see a story with the OC living in America and returning to South Korea for whatever reasons.

Flow (1/5)
Slow yet fast—contradicting but here’s what I mean by that: the whole story is going slow—three chapters and the OC is still in New York because… I don’t really know why. You should get a move on it because when I read the description, I didn’t expect to read about her life in New York, I expect to read when she arrives in South Korea. So with that said, your description doesn’t exactly match up with your chapters.

Reason for the flow being fast is the way you’re writing the story—you’re repeating information in one paragraph then repeating it again in the next paragraph or two; the reaction from each character seems too quick! One minute they’re mad then the next they’re suddenly happy—there’s no emotion being put into the writing to make me feel the emotion your characters are feeling. I just couldn’t understand.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (20/30)
The errors I’m finding are minor so I would suggest going back to proofread your chapters, or have someone else proofread it for you.

Writing Style (7/10)
I find your writing to be really word-y—which is a good but it’s also bad. I mean, I love your writing, I really do but I feel like you’re being too word-y with the words you chose to write.

Overall Enjoyment (5/10)
The flow of the story was too slow, so I couldn’t enjoy it as much.

Total – 52/100

Reviewer: vangbby