It All Started with a 'Hi'

Title (3/5)

The title is a bit overused since there are many other fanfics that has the line “It Started With…” and you should have capitalized the words needed to be capitalized. So the title should have been “It All Started with a ‘Hi.’”

Poster & Background & Trailer (4/10)

No poster or trailer so no points will be taken off for that. The background, however, is really random. I don’t understand why pink bricks are the background. But I will have to say that it brings a sort of cutesy mood to the fanfic.

Description & Foreword (2/10)

The description was just a big mess of blobs all written together— I did not like it at all.

The foreword— I’m not quite sure how to say this since your entire foreword contained the character information. Sure, character information is nice but I don’t think it was even necessary because you pretty much told us everything there is to know about this fanfic which is a big no-no!

Plot (3/10)

The plot of this fanfic sounds interesting but I cannot give full points because it isn’t well-written.

Originality (2/10)

This fanfic does contain some originality but sadly your writing couldn’t save much of it.

Flow (4/5)

The flow didn’t lack speed nor was it too slow.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (2/30)

I did not see much vocab usage. Your spelling… I don’t understand why decided to spell LOZER instead of loser, wt instead of what the and same goes for wtheck. To be honest, that’s not even a real word. If you’re going to use those words then use it, do not write like it that for the sake of whatever it is.

Writing Style (1/10)

Not the best way to go about on the writing style. All you have a dialogue and sometimes the ‘He said’ and that was it. Then I guess you decide to bring in the whole script writing style which was the ‘Me: I like chocolate’ deal. Writing is supposed to contain paragraphs not a sentence of dialogue along with the ‘He said’ or ‘She said’ thing.  I really suggest it that you try to write out paragraphs and not what you’re doing at the moment.

Overall Enjoyment (2/10)

Since this was a U-KISS fanfic, and I super love U-KISS hence them being my number bias group, I was excited to read this fanfic. But all of my anticipation drowned to the bottom of the sea when I clicked on the fanfic and read the description. To be honest, I was disappointed because I have seen this fanfic around on the ukiss and have been meaning to click on it but I was also distracted so I never did.

I do think that what you have is interesting; I just think that you could have gone another way with how this fanfic was written. Now, even though I was harsh it doesn’t mean that I’m telling you quit, it just means that you should put more thinking into this fanfic.

Total - 23/100

reviewer: vangbby