A game full with crazy love

a. Title (3/5)- Your title is ok and it fits fine for your story since it sounds cute and fun too. However, title is not very appealing, it's cliché.

b. Poster & Background (8/10) - Your poster is cute and is just good for your story. However, you don't have a background but that doesn't matter. Plain white is fine though and it doesn't hurt the eyes of the readers. And since you have a trailer, I added some points. The trailer is cool though we didn't add that in the criteria. Maybe I should add that in the criteria! :D

c. Description & Foreword (5/10)-Your description is okay and the characterization too. The only problem is the capitalization. You have to learn that!

d. Plot (3/10) - When I saw the title I thought this was going to be a good and funny romantic comedy again and that I would like it very much. Didn't. It was just some of the stories and shows I've seen before where girls tries hard to get the heart of the guy she likes even though the guy is very cold to her.   But to be honest,  it's fine.  It's not eye-catching and not even outstanding. It's not unique and it is common. I can actually find stories that have a similar plot to yours. But I did enjoy  the funny scenes you wrote in the story , some made me laugh though but it just wasn't enough.

e. Originality (5/10) - Like I said, I've read some kind of stories like this so I find it very cliché. But I like the fact that Ji Hae looks like she likes Haewon instead of Sulhu.

f. Flow (4/5) -I like the flow of your story. It's not slow but it's not rushed too. So good job! I'll be waiting for your next chapter! It actually makes me want to read more because it's unsatisfying.

g. Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (10/40)

- First of all, you have tons of wrong grammars ,misspellings, punctuations ,a.k.a. mistakes. That's very important when writing a story. I didn't even find it hard finding mistakes , because I found tons of them! It's very disappointing.  Don't get offended, ok?

Misspellings- (Chapter 1) dissapointment should be disappointment.

-"  aah, are you gonna walk alone? be careful okay? " said sulhu.. (it should be " Aah(Ahh), are you going to walk alone? Be careful okay?" Sulhu said.

Make sure to use capital after a punctuation mark, ok?

- I was reject indirectly, I WAS REJECT BY HIM!  (it should be I was directly rejected, I was rejected by him!)  Make sure to use the right past tense. 

- The girl that reject sulhu's confession(The girl that rejected Sulhu's confession.)

- Sojin immediately sat down when she hear what the girl was saying.  (it should be when she hears what the girl was saying. Make sure to use the right verb to avoid conflict with the pronoun word "she")

-hmmmm... GOOD!!! This..this is my chance!!!   (Again! Make sure to capitalize them!)

-feel like there is nohope. but I will not give up .i would seize him! (feel like there is no hope. But I will not give up. I will seize him.)

-" i'm so envy to see her hair. I never had people offer themselves to carry my bag. we're far away difference with her life " said another girl. (Don’t use envy right there. "I'm so jealous /envious of her hair. " As to the 3rd sentence, I understand it but that's a wrong grammar.

-" haewon, i want to heard about the schedule for next year, let's go to the club room " said sulhu to haewon. (It should be "Haewon, I want to hear about the schedule for next year. Let's go to the club room." Sulhu told Haewon.

OOOHKAY... so there's actually a lot more but I'm not going to write them further enough. But this is what I will tell you, I found more than 100 issues in your story. Punctuations, spellings, capitalization, grammars, vocabulary , wrong use of verbs and nouns! But don't give up your story! You can do better next time.

h. Writing Style (5/10) - Your style in writing is fine , I'm glad you gave a note about the color thing and about who's talking. It's easy to read and it's neat.

Total score- 43 / 100

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Comment - Your story is okay but it was just disappointing that you had tons of mistakes and the plot wasn't very original. But I hope you are not offended. I am rather encouraging you to do better next time.

Don't give up and continue to improve your story ok? :D