Complicated

Title (2/5)

Reading the title I could tell right off the bat what kind of story it would be. However, the story title does
not match the story at all and I think you should have used something wittier for such a cliché story.

Poster/Background/Trailer (0/10)

The poster is nothing special and I don’t like it. It’s plain and boring and has nothing that draws my
attention to the story. Most people will look at the poster first for an idea of what the story concept is
and what it’s going to be about, but yours is boring and I don’t even want to look at it. But why do you
have one if you only use it for the foreword? Why use a bunch of other pictures for every chapter? It
completely defeats the purpose of having a poster made in the first place.

Description & Foreword (0/10)

Description: We want a description of the story, hence why it’s called a description. Give us a bit about
the story, tell us what we’re about to read. DO NOT put pictures of the characters and give us their
names, we’re not stupid and we can read; we know who these people are.

Your author’s note: Telling us that it sounds like the manga just puts it in our mind that you read that
particular manga and are basically copying it. Maybe not word for word, but the general idea and events.

The P.S is not needed.

Now that last part: Take it down, you look so dumb putting something like that on the story. Instead of
tell people not to steal it you tell them to do it? You think that you’re slick and cool doing that, don’t you?
That is so pathetic and stupid; how old are you? Twelve?

The foreword was boring.

Plot (0/10)

The very idea of a girl sneaking her way into an all male school while pretending to be a guy is
completely absurd. It’s totally unrealistic and in reality it would and could never happen. You need to
think before you write something. I could never take a story like this seriously.

Originality (3/10)

I am pretty sure this is the sixth story I’ve read where a girl sneaks into a boy’s school pretending to be a
guy all for a crush. And obviously you based this off a manga or you wouldn’t have mentioned it in the
first place. The idea is completely cliché.

Flow (1/5)

The flow in this story is not good at all. Everything is written in a rush and jam packed into these few
chapters. If you wrote slowed down and gave more description and added details they could be much
longer and many more chapters.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (18/30)

Spelling: Everything was good.

Vocabulary: Everything was fine.

Grammar: Ok.

Punctuation: !?!!? …… ????? !!!!!!!! Stop. Just stop, okay? This is completely unnecessary.

DO YOU LIKE READING STUFF IN CAPS LOCK? BECAUSE I SURE DON’T IT’S REALLY
OBNOXIOS AND I HATE WRITERS WHO DO IT. Because if you want to show emphasis on
something, either bold or italicize it.

Writing Style (3/10)

You are a terrible writer, very amateur. Everything is just so…this is the type of writing that I just cannot
stand reading. You just go right into the story without taking time to give details and descriptions of
anything.

Setting: You just say where they are without giving any description. What does the campus look like?
The halls? The dorms? What’s the weather like if they’re outside? Is it sunny?

Emotion: There is no emotion or anything. Amber supposedly has a crush on Minho and yet she doesn’t
even act like it.

Everything is so lacking and boring, you should have just copied everything that happened out of Hana
Kimi and maybe your story would actually be considered good.

Overall Enjoyment (0/10)

I did not like this at all, it was completely stupid and if I wanted to read something like this I’d just go
read the manga that inspired you to write this.

You put SHINee and f(x) to shame writing them they way you did.

Amber: You only chose her because she is androgynous and yet you made her completely girly. In reality,
Amber is not like that, she would never gush over a crush or squeal. She is Amber Liu, beautiful in and
out and you should have written it like that; not make her into something that she isn’t. Secondly, if she
snuck into a BOY’S school why would she keep her very GIRL name?

Key: You have got to be kidding me. He is not flaming gay and he does not act like a hyper kid with
ADHD.

Total Score: 27/100%

reviewed by: peacelovehugs