Her Faith. His Absence.

Title (3/5)

It's not very catchy, but that would do since I don't even have any other title in my mind that would fit your story. Nevertheless, I really like the feeling that the title is showing. For me, it sounds mysterious.

Poster & Background & Trailer (-)

It's okay not to give points in this part since you don't have any right? ;)

Description & Foreword (5/10)

Once again, it's the sudden feeling I feel inside when I read your description that makes me like it. It gives an angst feeling, and to be honest, it is interesting. Like, how did he vanish? Is this even a supernatural or fantasy fic because actually it sounds like it. Anyway, I read the other reviews made by other shop and I agree with most of what she/he said about your ff. I think you should follow what she had said if you want your one-shot to look much better with better grammar.

Description is not much (because I can still see the obvious errors) but it was enough since giving too many explanations in the description would ruin the whole one-shot and the foreword was okay. You just need to work a little on your grammar.

Plot (6/10)

I like the plot, the way it has a typical feeling. You know, I like both Myungsoo and Chunji but I can't stop myself from hating how stupid Chunji is here. I know 'stupid' is a mean word! But I hate him here for sure. He says he loves Haewon's sister then just when he saw Haewon being kissed by Myungsoo, he says he loves her or...confused of his feelings. I want Myungsoo to end up with Haewon and when Myungsoo punched Chunji in the face, I cheered up. Chunji deserves it.

Okay, I'm trying not to spoil the storyline but I couldn't help it. Even though I might have read stories with the same plot as yours, I can't help but still feel the thrill and intense moment of your story especially with every Chunji scenes.

The ending was okay, although a huge cliffhanger at least you have finally decided to give/make it a sequel. I bet your readers are so glad about it. I didn't read the sequel, just the one-shot, so I prefer Haewon to be with Myungsoo in my opinion.

Originality (4/10)

I like this version because it's short and it ended a cliffhanger (I love cliffhangers, is that weird? lol) , but then again, I'm quite sure this isn't the only one in AFF because I love reading fanfics so obviously, I've read other stories with the same plot as yours just with different characters.

Flow (5/5)

Neither. It went just fine for a oneshot. No complains.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary(15/30)

First, I'm giving you a suggestion that you should not use different colors for each character dialogues. Seriously, I think it looks childish and then what if some of the readers want to read it but end up ignoring it because of the color coding? I'm just guessing this might be one of the problems people are having when reading a story. To me myself, I don't like stories with color coding. I always read novels, books that are published, and none of them are written with different colors. Stick to black, that's enough. Having a different font is alright with me, but not the colors. Just my opinion and suggestion. Up to you if you would do as I say though.

Second, I found couple of errors, a lot I mean. I won't point them all out. You should reread your oneshot if you want to get a high score in this part. Didn't the other reviewer let you see the errors and mistakes you have written? Trust her, its better if you change your errors to correct ones.

Third, vocabulary isn't enough. You need more words in your vocabulary. You need to describe actions even better, not just a short one sentence.

Fourth. Do not write 'okay' as 'ok'. I don't like shortcuts.

Lastly, follow this and you might get better score to other reviewers.

Writing Style (4/10)

I don't like it, not my type. You should have changed your writing style by not changing the fonts and by not giving color codes. I agree that sometimes color coding are good in story, but not every time, and exactly not in this story. Your style is childish. At least you have a style! :)

Overall Enjoyment (5/10)

No matter how much I love Chunji's voice and Myungsoo's killer smile in reality; I don't want to lie to myself. Your oneshot could have been better, but it was just okay.

Total Score–47/90 %

Reviewer: sususco123