3 Dates ღ

Title (1/5)

The title is pretty eye-catching but it doesn’t fully reflect off of what your story is about. I mean, I understand how you got the title but it doesn’t fit. It’s also unnecessary for you to add that heart-icon at the end, it doesn’t make your story look any more interesting.

Poster & Background & Trailer (7/10)

I really love the poster, along with the background! I love how the words fades and stuff—just amazes me! Kudos to the designer who made your poster!

The only complain I have is that the feeling I get off of the poster isn’t the feeling I get from the story. The poster looks really cute and fluffy but the story is really angst-y and you use a lot of profanity. A poster is like the cover of a book; it gives a reader the feeling of the story—it is going to be a comedic story? Or maybe even an angst-y story about supernatural begins, or something. You can’t mislead a reader into thinking this is a cute story when really, it’s more angst and there’s not cuteness to it.

I think if the background of the poster was a darker color rather than pink, I would have immediately thought, this is going to be quite an angst-y story. So either you told the designer to go with a cutesy style or you didn’t give enough information.

Description & Foreword (6/10)

The description is okay—it was informative and it gave us some background information about your characters. The only complain I have is the grammar—which I hope you notice it too, since did mention English was not your first language.

What you wrote: Kim Sunggyu never believes in love due to his parents failed marriage.
What it should be: Kim Sunggyu does not believe in love due his parents’ failed marriage.

            It sounds more correct and I don’t have to re-read what you wrote 5 times before I can move onto the next sentence.

What you wrote: After the third dates, they are officially over, well, forever. Thus earned him the 'Mr.3 Dates' nickname.
What it should be: After the third date, they are officially over and will never meet again thus earning him the “Mr. 3 Dates” nickname.

There’s no need for you to add an ‘s’ in date because third pretty much informs us the many dates they were on. The well is removes because it’s unnecessary and I think it’s better to combine the two sentences because “Thus earned him the ‘Mr. 3 Dates’ nickname.” is a fragment.

Plot (3/10)

Generic plot—the mains have this fate to fall in love and they do. The plot doesn’t interest me.

Originality (8/10)

I’m going to say yes to the originality of this story, even though it’s pretty generic.

Flow (5/5)

The flow is fine!

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (5/30)

So many errors—you have extra s’ flying everywhere and you’re using the wrong past and present tense, your punctuations make me want to pull my hair out of my head—the spelling and the vocabulary is okay but because of your errors, it doesn’t work.

An example would be this: “Chill out you giant choding. We found his already passed out at the stool, he must have drunk out of his mind,”
What is should say is: “Chill out, you giant choding! We found his body passed out on the stool, he must have drank till he was out of his mind,”

The word 'already' is removed because it sounds too wordy and 'drunk' is drank because the way you wrote it made no sense to me. It’s that kind of sentence that I have to re-read before I can fully understand what I’m trying to read! By the way, the exampled used is in chapter five!

Also, your use for Korean words really annoys me—normally, I would ignore it but you over-used it. The way you write it in makes me rolls my eyes. It’s childish. You don’t have to make them answer in Korean all the time!

My suggestion would be to ask an English speaker to help edit your chapters for you because you have so many errors. I had to scan through a couple of the chapters because I didn’t understand what you trying to convey to me.

Writing Style (5/10)

The writing style is nice but because of the many errors found, your writing could not distract me from it.

Overall Enjoyment (1/10)

Not much of a fan of Infinite so I’m not sure who you’re talking about—which shouldn’t matter because an author should be able to make a reader fall for their story no matter who the characters are. The plot of the story was interesting but I couldn’t enjoy it, and it’s obvious why.

Anyways, like I said at the beginning of the review, I thought this was going to be a cute, fluffy but it turns out to be tougher—the use of profanity words was abused. I feel like it wasn’t even necessary to add in words like because it was so random. If you’re trying to make this story sound tough, you’re over-doing it. There is only a minimal of writers, on this site, that can use profanity and make it work into their story—like it’s natural and not being forced. Your use was too forced.

Total – 41/100

Reviewer: vangbby