Catch That Thief

Title (3/5)
The title is simple, though I think a better title could have been thought of.

Poster & Background & Trailer (3/10)
The poster is simple—I think it would be a better idea to go and request from a graphic designer on this site.
The background is fine, and no trailer so no points are taken off.

Description & Foreword (7/10)

The description, I feel, should only contain the first line we see. It gives us an insight on what this story is going to be about—I like it. The second part you have should be on the foreword—it’s like a prologue so I think it would be best to move that part to the foreword.

The foreword shouldn’t contain an author’s note only—rather, it should have contained a prologue, a quote that is relevant to your story or an excerpt from your story. Hence, which is why I suggest you put the second part in your description on your foreword then you can write in your author’s note. Why? It looks more organized and neat.

Plot (10/10)

I love the plot; I love how, at the end, everyone is connected to each other in some kind of way. It really surprised me.

Originality (10/10)
Definitely an original—I have no other words.

Flow (2/5)

The flow—I felt like as if everything was moving way too fast. I wish you could have written more chapters filled with KeMaru together and actually falling in love with each other. It was pretty much just they met, they hate each other, they saved each other, and then they loved. There was no pause to see their feelings bloom for each other. The events in the end of the chapter moved way too fast—there needs to be a pause within the chapter so that readers will know what’s going on rather than you having to explain in the author’s note.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (28/30)

Everything was perfect except for your punctuation; I noticed that you did this in a couple of the chapters:

“But I want that kind of flavor, Hyung!”, Dongho pouts.

That is wrong; it should really be like this:

“But I want that kind of flavor, Hyung!” Dongho pouts.

Or

“But I want that kind of flavor Hyung,” Dongho pouts.

There’s no need to add a comma when you already have an ending mark there.

Writing Style (10/10)

I love your writing style—it’s so relaxed and it really reminds of those writers on livejournal! But I will have to say, I would love it if you could have your sentences become a 5-sentence paragraph.

The in this story was pretty accurate—not exactly sure if that’s the right word to use but your writing is good.

Overall Enjoyment (10/10)

Alright so, I was really really surprised when I saw this request—one being because this is a KeMaru (U-KISS) story and I’m really biased towards them (the couple), and the other is because I’ve read this story before. I’ve commented a couple of times but I later got lazy and didn’t comment. This story is really interesting and I really enjoyed it. I can’t explain how happy I am to read a story like this because it brings me back to the good old days when Alexander and Kibum were still part of U-KISS. I admit, I almost cried at the end—it was a really sweet ending.

Overall, this is really a wonderful story—you made me love KeMaru even more. Thank you!

Total – 83/100

Reviewer: vangbby

you're gonna be on the recommended list :D