Everytime We Touch

Title (1/5)

Naming the story after a song isn’t really that eye-catching, not to mention I’ve seen about two or three
other stories with the same title. The song didn’t even fit well with the story, so the title just throws it off. You
should have named it something about roses, sine that’s a main part of the story.

Poster-Background-Trailer (5/10)

The poster is okay and it fits the story well. However, I don’t particularly like the picture of Amber that you
chose. The background isn’t good at all. You should have found a picture of a rose that wasn’t cut off,
because then it repeats over and over in tile for the background and that’s annoying to look at.

Description-Foreword (1/10)

The weird little box you made needs to go.

The description made absolutely no sense and if I had found this story on my own I totally would not have
read it. The foreword is bland, why use pictures? We already know what Key and Amber look like.

Plot (10/10)

I thought the plot was really cute and sweet. Amber away in a different country and thinking about her
feelings for Key? Adorable.

Originality (10/10)

Nice little love story and definitely not something I’ve read before.

Flow (5/5)

It was good for a one-shot, but I can’t really say much. It was organized and it did not rush through
everything. The flashback was good and it went well with the story, which is really good. A lot of time
people put in flashbacks that have no relevance what-so-ever to their story, but yours did.

Grammar (20/30)

You wrote everything pretty good but I did find a few mistakes.

1 Take away the ellipses at the beginning of the second paragraph.

2 Make sure to always spell numbers out. 2 months should be written as two months.

3 After ending dialogue, be sure to capitalize the first word proceeding.

4 Third section, you need a space after softly: and it should be written as softly, “Amber...Amber...”

5 Halting dialogue and then continuing you have to capitalize the continuation:
"Okay kids!" Victoria called, "it's show time!"

“Okay, kids!” Victoria called. “It’s show time!”
“Oh boy," she muttered, "already? Oh My God."

“Oh boy,” She muttered. “Already? Oh my God.”

6 ...one, single, red rose.

One single red rose.

Writing Style (15/20)

You have a nice style of writing but you could improve just a little, mostly because you word some things a
bit awkwardly. Just change the sentence structures around a bit and it will be fine.

Just a piece of advice: your story was hard to read because the font was so small and it was green. It was
pushed the one side and that’s annoying to read. You should change that because most people are not
going to take the time to read it if the font is too small.

Total Score: 67/100%

reviewed by: peacelovehugs