Something Old, Something New...

Title (2/5)

I don’t understand the resemblance your title has to your story but I can see why you named it that. I just would have never thought that this story would be about an arranged marriage—it’s a bit misleading, if you think about it.

Poster & Background & Trailer (1/10)

The poster looks bad, to be honest. The pictures look very low quality so it makes your story look bad and the colors used are really bland. A poster shop I would suggest is this one—she makes the best angst poster!

Description & Foreword (10/10)

The description is simple and short—I like it.

The foreword is wonderful!

Plot (10/10)

This is probably one of the best arranged-marriage plots I have read on this site. It differs from those generic ones about OC forced to get married because her parents know the main guy’s parents and so on. You have such a twist to this story—I absolutely loved it! I didn’t expect the childhood friendship or the OC being blind.

Originality (10/10)

Definitely an original, no doubt about it!

Flow (5/5)

The flow is fine.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (29/30)

Your grammar, spelling and use for vocabulary is wonderful—it’s your punctuation that gets me.

When you’re writing dialogue, you should always end with an ending punctuation or comma rather than just adding the end quotes. An example would be this:

What you wrote: “Hello” said Jiyong, “what brings you here?”

What you should write: “Hello,” said Jiyong, “what brings you here?”

You’re still continuing their dialogue so it’s best to add the comma there.

Writing Style (10/10)

I love your writing—so much raw emotion is being written into this story, I absolutely loved it! But, I don’t think it’s a very good idea to be adding dialogue from another character in the same sentence as the character speaking. What I mean is this:

“Don’t touch me,” she whispers through gritted teeth. Seunghyun runs a hand through his hair, “I’m sorry.”

Sure it says who is talking but it’s best to not add them together.

Overall Enjoyment (10/10)

I definitely enjoyed this story! It’s different and I love the connection between Eun Hee and Seunghyun. It’s sincere and it breaks my heart knowing that Jiyong will never accept it. The last update has me hungry for more—I love how Jiyong just suddenly appears and drags Eun Hee away. I want to know more about Jiyong and Seunghyun’s relationship—why have they turned into enemies?

I think this story should get more recognition than it’s getting—the subscribers should be up high! Sure this is another one of those arranged marriage story where the two characters’ parents are friends and the two hate each other but this one differs in so many ways. I wish readers here would take a second to read this story—to read and know that this is what an arranged marriage story should look like. The emotions the two have for each other—hate, pity, and love! I’m definitely going to subscribe.

Total – 87/100

Reviewer: vangbby
your story will be on our recommended list! Congrats!