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High School Love
a. Title (2/5)
High School Love is too generic. I’m sure you could’ve come up with a better title.
b. Poster & Background & Trailer (6/10)
I think a little more time should’ve been spent on the poster. It looks a bit awkward when there are still traces of advertisements left on the images used for the poster.
c. Description & Foreword (7/10)
Description was all right (minus the grammatical mistakes). As for the foreword, instead of a character chart you should’ve included an introductory chapter or a preview of what your fic’s gonna be about. A character chart is redundant since the story should tell what the characters are going to be like.
d. Plot (6/10)
I know it’s a high school fic and each chapter (or chapters) is a different episode, but your plot line per episode is in serious need of development. You should take time for your readers to learn about the characters and also explore the many different sides of their relationships to other characters. Doing so would make your fic more engaging.
e. Originality (3/10)
To be honest (and no offense), this fic was a very typical high school fic with obvious developments. I think you should read more to get better ideas. If you want PM me and I can recommend you not only well-written fanfics, but also books.
f. Flow (2/5)
As I’ve mentioned before, the plot has serious development issues.
g. Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (10/30)
Lots of errors in all four categories. But you can always improve by writing and reading more.
h. Writing Style (2/10)
First and foremost, I think you should really re-read your fic for the sake of proofreading. Secondly, the constant change in POV is very distracting. And last of all, I think you just need more practice.
i. Overall Enjoyment (1/10)
I’m gonna be blunt. I didn’t like reading your fic. There were funny moments, but the tremendous amount of grammatical errors and stale developments prevented me from enjoying your fic. But don’t get discouraged. You can always improve.
Total - 39/100
reviewer: indielokimin
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