12 Cards that Changed My Life

Title (5/5)

It was a really unique title! Originally I didn’t want to review this story because it had an OC and I usually don’t do OC stories, but the title was so interesting that I decided to make an exception~ ^^ Different and intriguing, the title really made me want to know more about those 12 cards.

Poster/Trailer/Background (2/10)

Tsk~ Tsk~ So sad!! Alas, there is no poster OR background! But since you had two pictures describing your characters I’ll count that, though I was disheartened to see that the girl had her face down so I couldn’t see how pretty she really was; and the picture of EXO was so crowded and small. I wish it were bigger!! Please tell me you’re going to ask a graphic shop for a poster and/or background because I’m sure it’ll bring in more readers! ^^

Description/Foreword (8/10)

I actually really liked the small little spat for the description. It left the readers wanting to know what the grandmother is talking about and all. It’s quite interesting. And also the fact that only briefly is the character’s background history mentioned—not enough information for a solid description of her life, but also enough as not to overwhelm readers with information. And putting down the characters and their names and descriptions was also very good; though, I wish you’d listed each EXO member and their power or whatnot. Because they’re a new band—and with so many members on top of it—it would’ve been a good idea to put individual pictures and descriptions.

Plot (7/10)

Because I’ve seen stories like this before where the girl must choose between a score of boys as her mate and the “princess” thing on top of it, I find the plot kind of cliché but not at all predictable. Weird things so occur, like EXO forgetting to freeze time. I thought they would’ve remembered. XD Anyways, though the problem of the story is present right away to us, I do find that maybe a taste of the character’s normal, boring life first would’ve been interesting as well.

Originality (7/10)

I’d be a lie if I said I’ve never heard anything like this, because I have. I find this story a bit cliché and having the girl have to choose between characters is very traditional. However, I will say that the way you incorporated the boys’ powers into the story was a twist. And having it set in the mortal world made it even more interesting. You do have some odd ideas; I like it.

Flow (4/5)

I do think the beginning goes a bit too fast, having that the character suddenly figures out she could be a princess and ya da, but otherwise, the pace has leveled out by now and it’s quite a calm, peaceful river flow.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (20/30)

I will say, you are missing a few punctuation marks at the end of dialogues. My biggest concern had been that in chapter one, the character called the old woman “halemoni” and then “ajumma.” Well, while “halemoni” means grandmother and “ajumma” means aunt, those are two totally different things, so I’m a bit confused about this lady’s age.

Writing Style (9/10)

It’s very creative and keeps a crowd on its feet. It’s good that you have both dialogue and narration, so you’re very well-rounded. Though, I do wish the beginning wasn’t so random and rushed.

Overall Enjoyment (7/10)

It was a really interesting plot and the characters are also interesting. My only concern was about the “halemoni” and “ajumma” thing. I wish I could’ve seen what the main character’s life had been like before, so maybe you could incorporate that into the story through flashbacks or something. I’m actually quite curious of who she picks.

Total Score: 69/100%

reviewed by: Star_Sarang