My Possessive Lover

Title (2/5)
It's dainty but cliché. Not really alluring in the eyes.

Poster & Background & Trailer (-)
You don't have any of the above. Don't worry, this won't affect your score. The total score will be 90 instead of 100, okay?

Description & Foreword(5/10)

It's good, but there are some grammatical errors here and there including the punctuation. 

There is also a line in the foreword that I didn't really get. It didn't make sense.

“WHAT ? ARE YOU AFRAID I CHEATED BEHIND YOUR BACK ?!"

The sentence above is what Jaejoong said to Yunho. I am befuddled with this one. According to your story, Yunho had been spying him with his friends. Just friends, right? Then why did Jaejoong ask this : Are you afraid I cheated behind your back? It's not really right to say that because using this sentence, it would make readers confuse. What?  Jaejoong is cheating behind Yunho's back? And how did Yunho react to that? Jae didn't really cheat, he was just hanging out with his friends! He wasn't dating other guys or flirting with them. I'm just saying.

So here is how it should be written: What? Are you afraid I'd cheat behind your back? or Are you afraid I would cheat behind your back?

Anyway, when I read the foreword, I thought it was fun to read and it really made me smile. I missed reading YunJae, and the fact that Yunho is this protective (or possessive) to Jae made me really glad. This is a fun to read. It's interesting.

Plot(6/10)

The plot isn't that great. It was generic. I've seen stories everywhere with boyfriend or girlfriends spying their lovers. I had some likes and dislikes in the story. I liked how Yunho cared so much for Jae. Even though Jae got and says he is dirty, Yunho still didn't leave him. What I disliked is the fact that Yunho was over-protective to the extent that he'd watch and spy Jaejoong every day. Of course, if someone spies on you, you wouldn't like it even if it's your boyfriend. I also disliked Jae in here. He's cute and all that, but I just can't help but dislike him every time he hangs out with other guys like Junsu. Truth is, Junsu and Jae looked like they are also in a relationship or that they have mutual feelings for each other. That was disappointing. I also dislike how much Yunho loves and cares for Jae.

Another thing, I really thought Jae died. I would really get mad if he died just because of that. I knew he'd survive anyway but the way Yunho acted when the doctor said 'sorry' made me think that it was about Jae's death.

Also, I honestly want more twist. I want more happenings. I want more fun. More action, more sweet moments and more conflicts.

Despite the fact that you lack in creativeness, it was still a diverting read for me.

Originality(4/10)
Not very original, but I like how everything happened unexpectedly. Like how a molester took Jaejoong and him and then finding out that it was actually Choi Siwon.

Flow(4/5)
It was so fast but sometimes that's what makes it fun!

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (10/30)

I found tons of errors including the bad use of tenses. I can only suggest you check this page on AFF and get some tips.

Writing Style(3/10)
You had bunch of mistakes in writing and you don't really describe in a detailed manner.  I don't really like how you capitalize words when someone shouts, it's not really appropriate so I think you shouldn't type that way. An exclamation mark is enough to make it look as if they are shouting loudly. You need to find out a good and clean style of writing.

Overall Enjoyment(8/10)
I deducted two because I want more. I wasn't satisfied.

I still enjoyed reading it!

Total Score: 42/90%

reviewed by: sususco123