Writing on Airplanes

Title(5/5)

I like it, it's not much but I thought it would be interesting to read from the moment I saw the title. Frankly, it's not catchy in the eyes, for the others...But it was for me.

Poster/Trailer/Background(8/10)

You don't have a poster but I wanted to give some points here for the foreword and the nice heartwarming background. I love the background's color, it absolutely is simple but stunning and fits the genre of your story perfectly. Then in your foreword, I'm not sure if you're the one who made that but I love it. The saying, the paper plane. All the chosen colors look great.

Plot(8/10)

Nice plot. I enjoyed the story because of the storyline. Things were unexpected, it amused me. I really thought it was just a normal slow love story but then it suddenly turned into a fast heart wrenching love story. Surprising, heart warming and I just simply liked how it all went. Krystal moved on with Minho, and I think that's a good thing that she did. I am glad she didn't commit suicide or anything, I'm glad she's proud of Heechul in the end.

Originality(7/10)

Although I love it, I know it's not original. Right now, there are similar stories to you and maybe in the future too. An example of unoriginality here is how Heechul died, how Krystal and him got close, Krystal leaving town and how bad timing everything was. You could have added more creativity like when Krystal left, Heechul gave her a paper plane then she finally left and then Heechul ran after her, shouted her name, she didn't hear. LOL. I'm saying that there could have been a little more drama than just Heechul's death and Krystal not saying goodbye.

Flow(5/5)

I really don't have a lot to say in this section because it went well, and it was mind blowing when I reached the final chapter.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary(25/30)

Your English isn't at all bad. Yep, I found miscellaneous errors like misspellings or words whose some letters went missing but I think, your English is good and from what I have read, the way you are descriptive is enough although it could have been better. I mean, you could have added more feelings and emotions by words like when Krystal saw Heechul on TV, dead. But then, when I clicked next, she was already writing on paper planes so that's what you lack in describing feelings.

So, here are some errors I found:  Description: you wrote 'lke' instead of 'like' ; again in the description, please avoid repetitive words; chapter 1: suceed should be succeed. ; Wrong: turned to look at they sky. | change the underline word to 'the' ; stil must be 'still', so no big deal, I guess, you forgot to add another letter 'l' ; umimpressed is 'unimpressed'. Just be careful when writing. You should reread every sentence once in a while or afer writing one so that you can be sure that you wrote something wrong; forgeting should be 'forgetting' ; the word bursted is not in the dictionary, I mean those major ones. I've got to say that if you're looking for a past tense of 'burst', just stick with burst. It's not wrong, but it might sound wrong to some people. Just that, bursted is not a standard word so I suggest not to use it when writing a novel or a short story.)

Basicially is wrong, it should be 'basically'. You've used the same words and also both of them are in wrong spelling, so watch out for that.

This one is on chapter 2/final chapter, where you said 'I could had saved you'. See that the word 'could' is an auxiliary verb (not sure if it's called auxiliary for some reason), so then after the word could, use the base form of the verb. Now, it'll look like this: I could have saved you. See the difference?

Now matter how much...(etc.) No matter how much. Proofread your story and you'll see. There are other misspelled words, you can check 'em yourself. 

Writing Style(9/10)

It was descriptive enough and easy for me to read. Failure in correcting the misspelled words just made it look funny, like basicially when it should be basically. What I am saying is, the story sounded so sad and angst but when a reader finds misspelled words which are sometimes funny in the eyes, it becomes a downfall and discouragement. So, proofread your story.

Overall Enjoyment(9/10)

This caught my attention for some reason. Although, I'm not a fan of  Heechul or super junior, but I don't hate him, I just don't know so much about him although Super Junior is super famous. Then there's Krystal, whom I don't know well too, so what caught my attention? At first, it was how the foreword looked like that it gave me an urge to read what's inside your story. It didn't disappoint me, except the funny errors. I never expected about the news about Heechul, I never thought your story would be a dramatic one since it wasn't told in the tags section. I never thought to see in the final chapter that Heechul is dead and I swear, my eyes widened in surprise.

I don't like it that he died, I wanted Krystal to have at least talk to him before that because I don't think she ever said goodbye to him. Then again, I wouldn't enjoy your story if not because of some things that happened right? I am glad Krystal moved on and I am glad that Heechul finally flied. It was a touching story, I love it.

Total: 76/100

reviewer: sususco123

reviewer's note: Star_Sarang said she does not review Hetero fanfics/HeechulxKrystal fanfics so, I decided that I will besides it's only a short story ;)