I spent a night with you

a. Title (4/5)

It's too cliché but it's okay I guess.

b. Poster & Background & Trailer (10/10)

The poster is so cool so full marks.

c. Description & Foreword (7/10)

Misspelled words in your description but it gave me the want to read it. I'll just correct the description.

His tongue slowly slide in my mouth. He kissed me rough and then soft again. He picked me up and threw me on the bed. I still can't believe it... JUNG YUNHO wants me?

You didn't show so much in the description which kept me wondering. It's good.

d. Plot (7/10)

It's a common story but the end really broke my heart. I like this story but it made me hate Yunho (just in the story though).

e. Originality (5/10)

It's not really original. It's common but I'm not sure with your ending. It kinds of for me, but I still enjoyed reading it.

f. Flow (5/5)

I like the flow. It wasn't that rush and it's not slow. It's not boring either but a little disappointing.

g. Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (15/30)

You have so much mistake in this. You have to capitalize the right letters too especially "i" should be in capital "I". Also, you should use right punctuations, the period (including the space), comma and more so that it'll look neater and easy to understand. You have to watch out of your spellings too. Inventation should be "invitation". I will check a few for you. 

Chapter 1

I sighed, the end of the year was almost there.2010 was almost over and I cursed myself for not chasing my plan.
'I WILL kiss Jung Yunho this year’, I said back then.

Yunho was in the same year as me but in a higher class.
He was a sort of a player but I didn't care, I fell in love with him directly when I saw him smiling.

All the girls; wanted him. He was desired by everyone, I was just an immortal girl compared to him. He looked like a god.

And now...it was almost 2011 and still I haven't kissed him. I cursed myself really!
I heard there was a huge New Year’s party at Kim JaeJoong's place, one of four best friends of Yunho.
And to my surprise everybody was invited. I smiled, I was invited and I was excited.
But when I looked around, I saw that everybody had an invitation.
I was disappointed and walked out of school.

‘I’m going, maybe tonight it's the last day I can kiss Yunho.'

Chapter 2

So here I am at maybe the most popular party of the year.
I walked into the room and saw there were already a lot of people.

I saw JaeJoong,Junsu,Yoochun and Changmin standing at the open fire but the one I really wanted to see I didn't saw.
Suddenly I was hugged from the back.

A voice whispered,' Where you looking for me gorgeous?' I felt my head burning as soon I recognized his voice, I turned around and saw Yunho standing in front of me.
I only stood there, stunned.
"You look beautiful today, again," He said seductively.
I only nodded and tried to say thank you but I was stuck in my throat.

He had a smirk on his face and I dazzled away.
'Do you want to dance?' he asked.
'o-oh,o-oke' I chuckled.

He took my hand and pulled me to his body.
His hand laid on my back and we turned around.

We were dancing to the stairs and I felt a little awkward.
"You know" , he started," I don't know if you know, but I liked you for a very long time."
"Huh?"
He only nodded to me and whispered, "Just now I had to hold myself for not taking you to a room and taking you so hard that you don't know what is going to happen" he said.
I felt like blushing.

I looked at him with big eyes, his hand touched my cheek and I closed my eyes, I was enjoying the touch of his hand.

We danced and danced till we were to the stairs.
He caressed my back and I felt a tingle over my entire body.
I laid my hand on his neck.

"Can I have this night with you?" he whispered so seductive that my mind went blank.

h. Writing Style (5/10)

Half of me says it's messy the other half says it's actually fine.

i. Overall Enjoyment (8/10) - 

Yeah, I enjoy it. Yunho is one of my biases so yeah! Just disappointing because I think he's really mean. Well, all of the stories I read about him he's always mean, but this time, he's really mean to do that to you/me. Still, I enjoyed.

Advance happy new year!

Total Score  : 66/100%

A/N: I reviewed this first because it's shorter, please understand. I'm currently reading AnimeGurl96's fic and I haven't finished it yet. Also, sorry everyone if I'm taking too long. I have been a bit busy earlier because I had exams. Now, exam is done and tomorrow will be our christmas party at school so I'm not sure if I can review tomorrow because I will be hanging out with my friends. However, please be patient. I will get to your stories once party's over.