The Doll

Title (2/5)

The Doll--- really? I've seen like hundreds of them before (some of them added with the word remake and so on) so obviously, this title is too commonly used. Although I don't know where The Doll first came from... I still think you could have given your story a different title even if the plot is common. However, even though I've seen it a lot of times, I still think it's an interesting title because it sounds so creepy. Creepy titles are always the best for me.

Poster & Background & Trailer (5/10)

Honestly, I don't like it. But since the poster fits your story, I'll give in. Talking about the poster, the designer could have used a different brush for the main character's pictures, to make it look neater and prettier. It's the brush she used below that I did not like so much, and look at the edges of L's picture, the white edges can still be seen which made it look like a bit messy. Then the fonts. There are a lot of better fonts out there, maybe like creepy fonts? The fonts could have been the creepy type of fonts not cursive (unless creepy cursive, but it's not). The blood stain looks good, but maybe there shouldn't be too much bloodstains. 

Description & Foreword (5/10)

Description: Usually, these parts are wordy but too short in one-shot. Let's see your description, it's too short but sounds dangerously y and interesting. You gave me the feeling I want, angst.

Foreword is normal. Just like other forewords so I have nothing else to say here.

Plot (10/10)

I love the plot of your story (I think I've read a description of the same plot like yours before but never had a chapter; how sad). Anyway, amazing. The violence, the killing, it makes me feel like a sadist as well. I know that's really bad, but that's just me. I love angst because they fascinate me; they make me feel sad when I'm not. It's like being in my imaginary world, like coming out from my now boring life. Your story is one of my favorite angst now. Really creatively done and unpredictable. Just like other readers, I thought Sungjong could escape and L would die in the end. But that never happened. I truthfully wanted this to end well but it didn't. Instead, L would have another doll, I don't like that. Still, that's what makes your story beautiful!

Originality (7/10)

I've never seen a story like this, except people's descriptions I think. The creativeness in the story is what I like the best. It wasn't predictable that L would find another, that he wouldn't get caught by the cops (weak cops! I hate them all!) And that he would tie Sungjong, hurt him like that all because he loves him. I think that's too much --- Honestly, my heart hurts reading it but then again, there is this time when I feel sadistic. Uh-oh, don’t kill me! And yet I wanted L to die in that story. Like seriously. It could have been better, with more action if SungJong fought back and stop being his weak self because it's kinda annoying sometimes.

Flow (5/5)

It was just excellent.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary(18/30)

Good vocabulary but usage of grammar and others are not so good. Wrong use of tenses as well. Punctuation problem will make readers lose interest but luckily I didn't, since the plot was too good for me. But if you want someone to check the spelling and other problems in your story, please use Microsoft Word; it'll help you review the errors written. Are you using MW?

Another problem is your writing style but I'll tell you that next.

Writing Style (5/10)

I've seen a writing style like this before and honestly, I don't like it although the author before said that it's not wrong, it's the way others write (novelist) but I haven't seen like that before in an actual book. Plus, I think it's confusing if you use '-' instead of quotation mark. Sorry, I forgot what to call this thing ->- . Thing is, what's the use of a quotation mark? Of course, it’s for the dialogues, or for the quotes and never in my life did my English teacher taught us to write a dialogue without using a quotation mark ("").
Also, if you were a little bit more descriptive and not only describing an action in one sentence, I could have given a higher score.

Overall Enjoyment (10/10)

I love the concept and everything. It made my heart raced, my hand covering my mouth so I wouldn't make sounds like 'scream' or cry. Due to some failure in your grammar, it made the story less interesting but it was still very good for me.

Total  Score– 62/100%

Anyway, your story will be in the recommended list because I enjoyed this so much! Don't mind the grade ; Congratz!

Reviewer: sususco123