I'm Your Muse

Title(3/5)

The title isn’t really eye-catching but I do see how it reflects off of your oneshot— which I really like!

Poster & Background & Trailer(-/10)

Since there wasn’t a poster, background or trailer, I won’t take any points off.

Description & Foreword(4/10)

The description— I feel like— it’s just a mouthful of words. I’m not sure what you’re trying to summarize or what the oneshot is supposed to be about. Maybe you overthought the description a bit too much? I suggest you just write a simple description, maybe something like: For the past four years, Haenim has had the same dream about a man and herself. The dream starts with the two of them in a meadow— to which later on, leads them to making love. Dreams will only be a dream unless conflicted with reality.

Something to the likes that— of course, I just took your description and tried to summarize it down a notch.

The foreword was definitely not a foreword. I’m not sure how many times I’ve stressed about this but when I scroll down to look at the foreword of a story, I expect to see an excerpt from the story or even just a quote (that relates to the story). I don’t want to have to see a long author’s note and some advertising. Author’s note should only, and I quote only, come at the end/bottom of the foreword—it should come after the excerpt or quote or whatever you want to write because the foreword is there for a reason; hence, why it’s even called a foreword.

Plot(9/10)

The plot is really nice and definitely refreshing— I felt like as if I was reading a manga, or something. All I could picture was a bright, colorful world and the two characters wearing white, or some light color. It all felt very magical— which is a really good thing because I didn’t expect that to be a dream of Hongki’s, so it surprised me!

I’m just going to have to admit that I found it awkward that they were making love on a boat… It seemed a bit extreme for a oneshot I found to be light-hearted. I think it would have been better if they decided to make love in the meadow, since it was mentioned. Also, when they fell into the water and they were still connected… I don’t know, I guess I just don’t have much imagination for -writing. But hey, that’s pretty creative.

Originality(10/10)

Full points for originality— I don’t think I’ve read another oneshot with the same idea as yours which is really nice!

Flow(5/5)

The flow was not too fast nor was it too slow.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary(29/30)

Everything was fine but there was one small tiny word that made me cringe a bit. ‘Her’s.’ I don’t think a word like that exist— like at all. The more appropriate wording would be hers’ because her's is pretty much saying her is, and I think what you mean to write is a possessive word rather than a conjunction. 

Writing Style(10/10)

Your writing style definitely makes me jealous because I wish to be able to write as visualizing as you. It’s nice to see someone with such wonderful writing— it’s a talent only 30% of the users here have. So I appreciate your beautiful writing.

Overall Enjoyment(10/10)

My overall enjoyment— even though I found beginning to be a bit awkward, I would have to say that this was definitely an enjoyable oneshot. It’s rare to find oneshots that has a beginning, middle, and ending rolled up into one (chapter). I might even consider checking out the sequel you have— my expectations are high for this!

Total – 80/90

reviewer: vangbby
I know you requested for KpopLover756 to review this but she's busy and told me to hand it to another reviewer.