The Good Life

Title (3/5)
The title name is an okay title to name your story but I don’t understand how it relates when you have Jiyong living in a not-so-good life.

Poster & Background & Trailer (9/10)
I like the poster; looks nice and somewhat reflects off what your story is about. Background is just black and that’s fine, no points taken off for that or the trailer since you don’t have one.

Description & Foreword (7/10)
The description is simple, though I think it’s a bit random for you to put the listing of couples right under your description. I would suggest putting it at the end of your foreword.

And speaking of forewords, I like it; but I just want to say that maybe you shouldn’t make the font size be too big. I literally had to lean back to read the words.

Plot (5/10)
The plot… well to be honest, I don’t fully understand what the plot was about. I only understand it that Youngbae and Jiyong were friends who live together in a… poor place? Jiyong is some kid who has a bad life and Youngbae… I don’t really know about him. Then we have Jiyong saving the girl, who we later find out is Yoona; and I guess Jiyong and Yoona will fall for each other in the future chapters.

Also, you have a couple of side characters which we don’t really know a lot about. For example, Junhyun— I actually thought for a second that she was going to be the main character with Jiyong because they seem to have that kind of relationship, if that makes sense. I was expecting to see her more but there I guess not?

There’s also Bom, you wrote a couple of things about her in the beginning— what with Jiyong talking about how she was his crush and all but we didn’t get to know her or read about her. Well, I guess not until the recent update; I think you should have introduced her into the story early— made her appear in the story early.

In other words, I don’t understand where you’re going with this story.

Originality (10/10)
The originality of this story sounds like something you came up with and wrote with your own imagination. It’s actually nice to see something like this because it’s not very common— full points!

Flow (3/5)
The flow of this story lagged in the beginning but then it began to pick up after 5-6 chapters. I’m just going to be honest and admit it that I was a bit bored reading this story. I feel like when you write the first chapter of a story, you should always start it out your story strong— try to pull in the reader’s interest so the reader will want to read more and not second guess themselves if the story will be interesting or not. Because after those 5-6 chapters, when the story began to progress some more, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of the screen.

I’ll just give you an example of what I mean; I think you should have started with Jiyong saving Yoona when she was about to be . In my mind, if you started with that then it would have made me more curious about the story rather than the story starting out with a scene of Jiyong and Youngbae— robbing a bank. But that is just a mere opinion/suggestion of mine; it’s probably because I like reading intense stories and I mean yours is intense but it could have started out better.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (28/30)
Your grammar, punctuation, spelling and vocabulary were all used very wisely. I’m actually quite happy about it because there were no mistakes even when I tried hard to look for some, I couldn’t find any. Looks like someone proofreads really well!

The only problem I have is the whole Unni, Oppa, and all those other Korean words being used. I mean, I don’t care much if you have those words in the story it’s just, sometimes, while reading the story and I see the words pop up, I just read it in a very high-pitched and annoying voice. That’s probably just me though.

Writing Style (8/10)
Definitely loved the writing; the way you described things made me jump for joy because I could literally just imagine the things in my head. Not a lot of authors here can do that and, to be honest, there’s only a minimal amount that can and it looks like you’re part of it.

Overall Enjoyment (5/10)
I would say it was an enjoyable story but at the same time I didn’t enjoy it so much because a couple of the chapters were rather boring— but they weren’t dull. Would I continue reading the rest of this story, it depends because I do want to know how Jiyong and Yoona’s relationship will blossom and why these gang(?) people want Yoona; but in the end, it would just have to depend.

Total - 78/100

reviewed by: vangbby