Idol Club

Title (4/5)

I can’t say that I entirely love the sound of “Idol Club.” But at the same time, it’s creative. I find it a bit cliché, but it’s also a main point in the story and it’s kind of cute.

Poster/Trailer/Background (3/10)

I’m quite disappointed. I was hoping for a poster of some kind, but you’ve only a simply picture. Albeit, the picture is cute and pertains to the fact that JongKey is the main pairing, it does not a sufficient replacement for a well done poster that is easily attainable with some patience and an application to a free graphics shop that can be found here on AFF. I suggest you look into that.

Description/Foreword (3/10)

Two things about this bother me. One, your summary of the story sounds like a news article. It’s too stiff. There’s no sense of, “This is a great story and these are some subtle hints you’ll see in it!” Secondly, it’s unprofessional of a writer to have to describe their characters in the foreword. You’re supposed to reveal your characters bit by bit throughout the story, not just give an already set characterization that we’re supposed to get used to already.

Plot (6/10)

It really takes a long time to get into the plot. I lost track multiple times. I find it incredibly lifelike; therefore, I feel like I’m at school, which makes me sleepy. In general, it’s just a he regular school life of some rich kids, to me.

Originality (4/10)

Eh~ What can I say? It feels like school; therefore, not really that original. However, I find the scenarios you put in pretty unique. It’s odd to start out with a birthday party.

Flow (2/5)

Slow is the speed, I’ve got to say; but after a while, it’s mind-numbing and you keep reading just because it’s somewhat interesting because you stop at cliffhangers.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (20/30)

Your punctuation and spelling were fine for the most part. Your grammar was off more often that I could count; and I suggest that you broaden your vocabulary. Other than that, I find nothing wrong with your English.

Writing Style (3/10)

I really didn’t like your writing style. It’s everywhere and scattered. And because it keeps changing points of view, it’s hard to keep track of the events. It really fazes me. I can’t keep up with the writing because it’s all narrative and dialogue. There’s nothing substantial about it. There’s some commentary here and there, but I can’t imagine it. In all, I hope you can brush up on descriptions.

Overall Enjoyment (1/10)

It bored me, quite frankly. I seriously had a headache from reading this fic. Were I a person who could read fanfictions with odd grammar and all, it’d have been a great story, but considering the fact that the reason why I like most fanfics is because of how writers manipulate emotions and describe events and all, I couldn’t read this fic easily. Don’t let this dishearten you! You were creative and fresh, but you need to work a little more on your English grammar.

Total Score: 26/100%

reviewed by: Star_Sarang