A 2SHINee1 Love Story

 Title (2/5)

A 2SHINee1 Love Story? For me, it's not really catchy because it didn't catch my attention. Although, it's a good thing 2SHINee1 is like a combination of 2NE1 and SHINee. Unfortunately, I think it could have been better and more creative. 

Poster/Background/Trailer (-)

You don't have a poster, background or trailer so I won’t include this part of the rubric in your score. Don't worry; it won’t affect your overall score. 

Description and Forward (5/10)

Well, I don't like it that much but I like the foreword because it's interesting and you showed who's who. That made everything really interesting, some part was quiet obvious and I just think it's cute. I'm really not a super fan of them but I like SHINee a bit and then them together with 2NE1? I gave it a try and I enjoyed it, the way you made the story with a lot of pairs.

Plot (4/10)
The plot isn't that interesting. I've heard and read stories with the same plots as yours. Despite it being unoriginal and cliché, I think it lacked chemistry and sometimes it was just too predictable which made me lose interest a bit. You could have been a little more creative, imagine weirdest and unique ideas. Just be clever, I think it would be better if it's not just a love story like that, working together and falling in love as in 'in love' like that.

Originality (4/10)
Just as I said earlier, about it being typical and also the lack of creativeness. There were fun parts in your story. I think some readers likes the cuteness in your story especially with the interesting couples inside your story. 

Flow (2/5)

The flow was just too fast which made it unrealistic. They got close so early, fell in love fast and for example in Chapter 4 and so on. 

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (10/30)

You need to check like seriously. I found mistakes, mostly the punctuations. When writing, of course you have to add a period or a comma after a dialogue or a period after a paragraph but you just left it blank. Also, you have to put a space after "" then space and a word or a name.

Example (I just randomly pick)

"Oh... okay"Jonghyun said and still went out

correct: "Oh. Okay," Jonghyun said and still went out.

As for your vocabulary, I think it's a bit lacking. Your words are very simple and repetitive. I know, we do make the same mistakes over and over again but we can avoid that.

Capitalizations is also very important, it would make your story look better.

Be aware that in writing, using this {Vocalist's side + A Diva Key} is not something valid to use when you change settings. You should at least say 'Meanwhile...' blablabla. I also don't like the color coding, it annoys me. If you just wanted the readers not to get confused, then bolding the title "Minzy's P.O.V./Anyone's P.O.V." is enough than changing the colors.

This TT^TT or \(^o^)/ is not something you should type along in your story. If you're showing readers that's how the characters expressions are, then that is not a good idea. Honestly, that's one big mistake.

The word "bursted" does not exist. A simple burst is the same and the right word to say 'she burst out laughing'.

Don't use 'a' when the next word's first letter is a vowel word (a, e, i, o, u). The right sentence is 'Onew asked in an innocent tone. The word 'fakely' is not valid. Okay, sorry, I don't know what to suggest for that word. All I know is that there is no such word as fakely except 'fake'. Besides, when someone says something, I don’t have any idea what's so fake about it. That's in chapter 7 when Minzy said something.

Wrong: there are hardly no customers..."

Correct: There are no customers/There are hardly any customers

Aside from those mistakes, you lost a lot of marks because of the punctuations. I hardly saw any punctuation in your story. It was like, there's no pause, just keep going or reading.

Writing Style (4/10)
I did not like it that much. The color coding, a story without punctuations, words that are not capitalized and more. 

Overall Enjoyment (6.5/10)
I really enjoyed and had fun reading all of the chapters. I mostly liked how Taemin and Minzy's love story here is so cute. I finished reading it fast and as I read, I learned to like Minho and Dara's love story too. I love the memories, the places they went to and the short adventure. Honestly, I want to know what happens next and wishing these couples will have more scenes that would make their love really glow and more interesting. I know it's a ChaeNew fanfic. I liked the two. All of the pair, I love them. Don't mind the age whether girls are older than the boys, I still enjoyed it although the grammar (etc.) was a bit disappointing.

Total Score : 37.5/90%

reviewed by: sususco123