Title (1/5)

I think you better erase the '~ !' part at the end of the title. If you think that would make a difference to stories with the same title as yours, then it's not. It looks neater with just 'Playful Kiss' so don't anymore messy. Aside from that, the title just makes me remember about the show Playful Kiss although I am pretty sure the story is not like that show. Moreover, I do not like the title. It doesn't help capture attention to readers anymore.

Poster & Background & Trailer (5/10)

The poster doesn't look cute or neat like how I expected it to be but it is okay. Not all graphic designers are good since they all need improvements day by day.

Anyway, about the pictures in the poster... First, Chunji. That picture fits his role in the story but I suggest you change the OC's picture. She looks as if she's in a quiet fairytale. But of course, the pictures should also be based on the title of the story. You should try looking for a cute ulzzang look whether showing their puppy eyes, or giving a pout or a flying kiss, or with their mouth open like a clumsy little girl. It would look much better I swear. And of course, with a change of title to simply 'Playful Kiss' not 'Playful Kiss~!'. Not that I'm judging...Just suggesting I guess.

Description & Foreword (3/10) 

I think you almost give the plot away. At least, just almost not completely.

Then about the characters. You put too much about them and not just that, there are too many characters. You described almost everything they do which you didn't need to do. You could have added the OC's pic as well. Another suggestion, don't use GIF for their images. An icon or a small photo would be enough. GIF's not that catchy for me. It only makes a story dirty.

The description however looked exciting but there is some wrong grammar that made me think twice whether what I'm thinking is what you're writing.

Foreword looks so dirty. Fine, you can put the characters but don't put too many. You can just put the descriptions of those main leads, Chunji and the OC. And then the other characters names are enough. With a few GIF's it'll look cleaner. Other downfalls are the wrong grammars, misspelled words and punctuation uses. It's kinda funny how you emphasized the word 'pursuading' when it's actually wrong you know. You should check in the internet how it should be spelled before you type it.

Plot (3/10) 

I've never heard of it in shows, but I've heard it many times in fan fictions. I've always read those and always enjoyed on how funny and romantic they usually flow. I enjoyed yours, but not so much because I did not like the plot wholeheartedly. I love how you made a poll for new female characters though. If there was another chapter, I could have read further and give more comment about how your plot just went and how greatly a conflict would become when you have a new female character. That is absolutely a good idea you know. Because that OC is just too lucky being surrounded by those guys, she needs a girlfriend too.

Originality (2/10) 

A few creativity you added here and there, but unsatisfying ones.

Flow (5/5)

I see you only have a few chapters, so for me, it went smoothly.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (9/30) 

I don't feel like showing you your errors because you actually had a couple of them. You also need to improve on vocabulary, a dictionary can help you or watching English movies can. If you that always. There is one mistake you should know. I saw it in the foreword the word 'pusuading'. It should be 'persuading' as in plead.

Another is the difference of you're to your.

For example, in your chapter 2: "your here for the audition right?"

It should be 'you're'. Do you know that you're stand for you are? Well, you should know. This is not a big deal okay, but you made this error more than once so I guess I should tell you. To learn more, you should check this page.

Punctuation! I've seen many. You always forget to write these don't you? After a quotation mark, don't forget to write a comma or a period depending on what's next to that. I hope you understand. You had a lot of errors that's all I can say. But I'm not that strict about this to give you one point. Learn more and I know you'll be better in the future.

Writing Style (4/10)

I don't really like it especially the capitalizations of some words which I don’t think are needed to be in capitals. The common use of present to past is with you, you just need to watch out to that.

Overall Enjoyment (2/10) 

Your story wasn't very interesting. It was just fine, children will love it!But I didn't enjoy it so much.. It was fun for a while, but the next it wasn't anymore. It was boring. However, I know you can still improve and your story will surely get better as it goes on and on until you have a better grammar. I hope my review will help you at least a little. Good luck on your story!