Just Like The Movies

Title (4/5)

Not a bad title. I truthfully think it sounds cute, maybe because I am a fan of the song 'If we were a movie' and I think these two sounds the same but I know it's not. I just like the title, but then again, its cliché. About the title fitting your story, I can say it fits slightly.

I understand why you gave that kind of title, well, since her high school life is like those ones in the movies, the love story with three guys going to fall in love with her is like in the movies and especially having a campus heartthrob with an OC frozen when she sees a heartthrob and OC’s thoughts about love in movies, like she always talks about happenings in movies. Really adorable title!

Poster/Background/Trailer (6/10)
A banner is amazing for this story. I think it's nice, but too plain. I like the one in the foreword though. it's a gif style but it's simple, yet it's catchy for me.


Description & Foreword (7/10)

It was okay, and yet confusing. In your description, Kyuhyun is annoying, then in your foreword, he's a cold and shy person. I'm not saying that it's wrong, what I'm saying is, you could've explained it or at least say in the end (foreword of Kyuhyun) that Kyuhyun is cold but shy and annoying. Besides giving information about the three main guys, why didn't you add the OC/your information too?

Anyway, it was good but there were also confusing parts like Re-living your high school days, it's not like I/OC reincarnated to say re-live high school days or she didn't pass so she went high school again, then she should've been older now then the other classmates of hers.

Plot (9/10)

A cliché plot, but good for you for adding creativities and more drama. Ouh, I love the drama and the funny scenes. However, I’m the kind of person who hates random girls falling in love with a hot popular guy and thinks that those things that happens in the movies, might happen to her if possibility or fate let it be.  I hate it because it’s too overused. So, it’s like I hate the OC in your story but as time pass by, I learned to at least like her a little because she’s fun like that. She’s kinda annoying with all those freaky weird imagination, as if she’s Geum Jan Di. But don’t get offended, it’s a good plot, I still liked it.

I love it when Kyuhyun and OC chat. At that part when Kyuhyun was saying stuff like BRB and BTW. Gosh, I couldn’t stop smiling. So, for me, Kyuhyun all the way. I ship him with the OC because he is such an annoying boy. That’s what makes him lovable.

The plans of OC/Junghyo was funny too, I couldn’t stop laughing just imagining how she would do that revenge and how it failed. And when Hyukjae broke up with his girlfriend, I was so happy that finally, there will be a chance for OC and him to be together. I like Hyukjae here because of his amnesia, it sounds interesting but that doesn’t mean I ship him with OC. Not Leeteuk with OC either, although I think Leeteuk is pity…or…am I just confused who to ship? Never mind.

High school life in your story is an amazing pick. Sometimes I think it’s like High School Musical you know, with that Broadway sign up and then there’s this partner2x thing.

Oh anyway, nice story.

Originality (5/10)

I say 50:50. As it says in your story that in movies when a girl bumps with a guy, the guy would pick up her things then in the reality of your story, the guy scolded her instead. That is still commonly used, even in shows/movies and stories. So, bumping each other as first meeting is too predictable, that it’s either one of them gets mad or helps the other get on her/his feet.

Flow (5/5)

It went well. Not much to say.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (18/30)

Honestly, it looks just like the others I reviewed with a writing so childish, like you're not even serious writing it. You're not descriptive and with actions, you show them like this: *BUUUUUMMMPP!!*. It's not really good to put an action that way. Moreover, with letters too much than its actual number of letters. A mess, it is. If you didn't want it to look messy, then you could've written it like this at least: *Bump!*. Oh, I'm saying it's right to write like that with '*'.

Do not write like Fayyyyyvv..Fooooor. or whatever... I mean, that is not appropriate. It's like an amateur or a child is writing that, and besides, if the OC is the one saying that, she shouldn't because she's a high school student, remember? And when writing a novel, it shouldn't be that way. Make it neat and clean not messy.

Calling someone Ms Bugs is just wrong. Add a period after Ms and it's correct. I also noticed you repeat same words in one sentences, which is a don’t. Also, when you type numbers like ‘3 words’ spell out the number 3 as three.

Punctuation. Speaking of that, I’ve noticed you’ve done major mistakes here but I’m not pointing out everything. Example: "You. Are. Crazy.", she said, in case each word might not register well in my mind.

You ended with this -> .” and after that you put a comma. Do not put a comma, there’s already a period after a quotation mark. Then, make the first word of ‘she’ a capital letter.

And so on. I’ve got to say, your writing got better from Chapter 3 and so on. Although, there are still errors, minor ones. It’s amazing how your writing changed suddenly. At first you would write Ms Bugs with no period after Ms but then I saw a Mrs. Kang which has a period after Mrs. That’s how it should be from the very start.  And still there’s the wrong use of punctuation, and repetitive words as well. Oh and, use of plural and singular words, using ‘she’ instead of ‘he’.

Writing Style (7/10)

First of all, I love Super Junior but because they are too many, sometimes I forget their names. I’m not good in memorizing names. Why am I saying this? Sorry, it’s because I got confused at first, who’s Jungsu? Who’s Leeteuk? Please stick to one name. When narrating, just call him Leeteuk and when a person calls him, call him Leeteuk because having two names might be a little confusing since few people might only know Leeteuk as Leeteuk. I know Leeteuk mentioned to stop calling him in his proper name, so I think he is just right. Narrate him as Leeteuk, people can call him as Jungsu, then as the story progresses, they can call him Leeteuk or whatever. Just my opinion.

Your writing style is good anyway. I like the chatting part especially. It was so fun. But you don’t need to capitalize words even if the person who said that was mad, or talking loudly. You can just put an exclamation mark and that would explain everything. I’m glad that you stopped bolding ‘sayings’ anyway.

Overall Enjoyment (9/10)
I loved it! Even if it was typical! I enjoyed it. It talked about high school life, and I can’t stop myself from envying how fun the OC’s high school life is.  

Total Score: 70/100%

Reviewed by: sususco123

Reviewer’s  note: Sorry if it took so long for me to finish. I was kinda busy the other day so that’s why and I wanted to review this after I finished the whole story so sorry if it took so long. Also, I know I shouldn't be reviewing this, but the reviewer you chose left the shop.