JOSEON DYNASTY: To Murder a King

Title (4/5)
I love the title—but I think the title will look better without the ‘JOSEON DYNASTY.’  Other than that the title makes me curious as to what your story will be about.

Poster & Background & Trailer (10/10)
The poster is absolutely beautiful—I love the editing even though none of the characters are seen on the poster, I find it to be really mysterious, which is definitely the feeling I’m getting from your story.

Description & Foreword (6/10)
I like the description but I feel misled with what’s happening in your story. You speak of two lovers but in the first twenty chapters or so, there are no two lovers but five confused men stuck in ancient Korea and a girl. Sure, towards the recent update we’re getting a hint that probably Onew and Jiyo are the two lovers but why did it take so long to get there?

The foreword—it looks messy. Why do you have the warning first? It’s not exactly important so it would probably be best to put that information at the bottom of the foreword along with the credit you have. Other than that, the rest is fine.

Plot (10/10)
I really love the plot! It’s totally different and I’m a huge fan of the historical genre! It’s not every day that I see a fanfic that’s about ancient Korea. Also, I love the fact that you used Hong Gil Dong—I’ve actually seen the drama and I just fell in love with it! Made me so happy!

Originality (10/10)
Definitely an original—no doubt about it!

Flow (2/5)
The flow just really lagged—it takes the SHINee members a long time to figure out things and meet the girl just to get information.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (28/30)
There some minor errors—like capitalizing the first letter of a word after a quotation mark but other than that, everything else is fine.

Writing Style (7/10)
I love your writing style—and you probably already know that since I’ve reviewed a story of yours before.

But the reason I took off 3 points was because you did the whole asterisks-for-the-character’s-thought-deal and that’s not exactly ideal when writing a character’s thought. I would say remove the asterisks and just leave it italicized. It’s more appropriate and it’s what you would normally find in a fiction book.

Overall Enjoyment (7/10)
I enjoyed this story—I just didn’t like how it was lagging. I feel like the is going by too slow. Where are my two lovers in this story? Why haven’t they figured out something yet? Unless you plan to make this story have less than thirty chapters, then you should start pacing things up. Because if your description is telling me two star-crossed lovers and all I’m getting is, still, five confused men trying to find their way home—I don’t think I want to finish reading this story. I mean with the recent update, I’m pretty excited about it because it totally relates to your title, but how does it relate to your description? It has me wondering how your title and your description have a relation. Something to think about…

Good luck with the rest of your story!

Total – 84/100

Reviewer: vangbby
I'm going to put this story on the recommended list anyways!
You have me going back to re-watch Hong Gil Dong lol
Congrats!