Love Isnt Only Happiness

Title (1/5)

First of all, the punctuation. Instead of this: Love Isnt Only Happiness; add a punctuation to make it correct: Love Isn't Only Happiness. Besides that, the title doesn’t give any potential. It was just a normal and choppy title for me. Nothing really special but you have points for the effort of choosing a title although right now the title might not give any sense because I’m pretty sure that as your story progresses, readers will realize the true meaning of your title.

Poster/Trailer/Background (3/10)

Poster is...okay. It's not that good, and the quality (especially the girl's image) is very low quality. I mean, readers usually judge a book by its cover so when the cover looks like that, with a bad quality, they would turn the book down and won’t read it. And the coffee thing where the boy's image is put, I do not understand it yet. Maybe because there is still one chapter? Like this story is not yet even beginning.

Description/Foreword (4/10)

It’s alright. Grammar errors are so obvious, you should check it. Description is also a little bit interesting, but overused. I've seen so many plots like this so it's not new or unique for me. I also want to know why get married without letting their parents know. They can just tell their parents about it, why not? The girl has his baby after all. Also, why only for a year? What's the use of marriage if it's only for a year...? And who started it? I mean, it sounds stupid to get married and be couple only for a year when they have a baby. At least explain that and add at the last part, join these couple on their journey to love and marriage life while keeping the girl's feelings for the guy a secret.

Plot (5/10)

Actually, this isn't my type of story and it is too typical and sometimes just ridiculous. There's only one chapter and I still do not understand the main plot of your story.

Originality (2/10)

This is too cliché. But I tell you, I usually like cliché stories but I didn't like this one. Give you points for the effort!

Flow (3/5)

There's only one chapter and I think it started out really good and intense. But maybe, you could have slow it down a little.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (11/30)

It wasn't really that bad but you can still be way better than this. You have to watch out for punctuation mistake and making a capital word for the word 'I' most especially because 'I' should always be in capital. Remember that. I've seen tons of errors actually, that includes the wrong uses of tenses and when at times you use past then present then past or you mixed them in one sentence. That is not good.

Wrong:

How could this be??

I mean, i know we married under a contract and all but i really loved him.

Did this mean that he didnt love me?

Correct:

How could this be?

I mean, I know we got married under a contract but I really love him…for real.

But seeing this intimate scene right now only means that he doesn’t love me. He never loved me.

That’s it! Notice when you said ‘I really loved him’? That is so wrong. Because as what I can see, the girl is still in love with the boy so if she says ‘loved’ that would only mean in the past. So if she still loves him because she is hurting that very moment the boy is with another then don’t add ‘ed’, use the present tense.

Writing Style (4/10)

I think what I like about yours is the way it is in the girl’s point of view, wherein she is asking different questions whether her husband never loved her- ever. It sounds dramatic really, but that doesn’t help big. Sometimes I just thought your writing style is kinda boring and childish but you can improve. Why not check Grammar Tipsy here on aff and learn more about grammar and writing style? Trust me, you should check it out and be better like everybody else.

Overall Enjoyment (2/10)

I think it is really interesting but this is something I wouldn’t really read unless I’m told to or if it is really my duty to help author improve at least a little bit with their flaws. Because I know that, I wouldn’t enjoy it since as a normal reader I judge a story by its cover and description. If you gave a more interesting plot, not just the girl loves her husband and the husband having no feelings for her (it also does not make sense to get married only for a year because of the baby) …  Honestly, your story would be much better and cheesier than it already is if only you added more chapters, more happenings and change a dramatic and hateful beginning into a happy and cute one.

Total Score: 35/100%

Reviewer: sususco123

Reviewer's note: I've decided to finish yours eventually since you kept on resending your form and even wall posted me to review your story, because you are so curious -_- So here it is.I hope next time you can wait longer.  I hope you are satisfied. This isn't really that low for me. Trust me, there are authors who received score lower than this.