In the Kingdom of the Forbidden Romance

Title(2/5)

The title is a really confusing title; I feel like you over-thought it a bit too much and the title you had first seemed better than what you have at the moment. It made more sense and had a real connection to what your story was about so I don’t understand why you changed it.

Poster & Background & Trailer(5/10)

Since the poster is the only one being present, I’ll only grade that and not the background or trailer. The poster looks… fine. I just don’t like how the picture of Sunggyu is squeezed in— it doesn’t look good in the poster. Also the pictures look a bit low quality; it doesn’t give off a very exciting vibe.

Description & Foreword(8/10)

Alright so before I critique on your description as a whole, I’m going to first say that I love your description of the story! The minute I read it I was just mind-blown by the idea of this fanfic! I love it! It sounds like a Korean drama or something— I will talk more about it in the plot.

So the description— I love it. I don’t get why you decided to add the [SunggyuxOC] after the description. It’s very random. The character profiles, I feel, shouldn’t be mentioned. You only had 4-5 short sentences about the characters and I feel like it was unnecessary. The best suggestion I would have for you is to write in your character’s information in the chapter— meaning actually write their personality in the fanfic rather than straight-up telling the reader how the character is like. But I guess it could just be me who doesn’t like character information because I feel like they aren’t necessary.

The foreword was not a foreword. It was more like an author’s note and I really do not like it when I see a huge author’s note in the foreword. Why? Well the foreword is there for a reason and the reason is to either write an excerpt of your story in it or just simply put in a prologue— maybe even a quote. The author’s note should be seen at the end of the foreword.

Oh, and since I did read what your foreword said— you said that there was a foreword there that might have confused a couple of the readers. I wouldn’t mind seeing the foreword.

Plot(10/10)

The plot is probably one of the best plots I have ever read on asianfanfics. I LOVE IT. I’m really into the whole fantasy-back-then genre and the plot of this story really just blew me away!  It reminds me of the Josen Korean dramas because I love watching those types of dramas. I love how Hana is connected to this Jade pendant and all that good stuff. I really really really want to see how things turn out because I cannot figure out an ending to this fanfic. This is really a unique plot!

Originality(10/10)

Full points for your creative thinking of this fanfic— though I will have to admit it sounds almost like a drama called “Rooftop Prince,” which is supposed to come out sometime later.

Flow(5/5)

The flow was accurate— nothing too fast or too slow.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary(30/30)

The grammar, spelling, punctuation and vocabulary were all well used in this story— which is greatly appreciated!

Writing Style(10/10)

I love your writing style— almost to the point where I want to write like you do. It inspires me to want write as good as you. Everything you wrote flowed and I could feel every emotion being put into the writing. I’m really impressed because it’s really rare that I find someone with good writing.

Overall Enjoyment(10/10)

To be honest, when I clicked on this fanfic I was expecting it to be a bit disappointing— probably because of the title you have— but you what I expected was nothing like it. I was instantly drawn into your fanfic when I read the description—I swear I had on the biggest smile. I feel that this fanfic should get more recognition than it does because your writing is flawless! The plot is flawless and your characters are flawless. I would definitely consider giving this fanfic a try by subscribing and seeing what you have for the rest of the fanfic.

Total – 90/100

reviewer: vangbby
remember to check the foreword for your status ;D