Romeo and Juliet

Title (3/5)
The title is too typical. However, I like it. Why? I love Romeo and Juliet. I used to love that movie because it was tragic, although I am so not happy over the fact that they were love at first sight. Then again, the title you have given your story is good (but not very good) only because the plot of your story is the same to Romeo and Juliet's story although your characters have different names. Maybe, just maybe, there could have been other titles out there that you could have thought of. Something solitary.

Poster & Background & Trailer (10/10)
First of all, the poster gave me a wonderful feeling. A feeling I really can't describe. It looks simple and yet it is very attractive. Surely, the designer is one awesome graphic artist in this one. And lastly, the trailer. You have no idea how in love I am with your trailer. It's awesome, and definitely perfect with the clips, music choice and timing. It was intense at first, then it was... sweet. I just love your breathtaking trailer.

Description & Foreword (6/10)
You have an inspiring description, but there are some things missing word after word. The punctuations. 

Here is what you wrote:

But, what if God has a different plan for them, what if a little thing called love messes with their fate. They fell for each other and even though their situation is hard they're still madly in love.

What you could have written is this :But, what if God has a different plan for them? What if a little thing called 'love' messes with their fate? They fell for each other and even though their situation is hard, they're still madly in love.

As for the foreword, it was good also. Somewhat interesting to read, but there are grammatical errors that makes me read it slow to understand. This goes the same with the chapters, as I read on and on.

Overall, it was good.

Plot (8/10)
Luscious fun and y just like the famous 'Romeo and Juliet'. But of course, for me, this sounds better since it is nothing like a poem and there are no exaggerating words just like in the famous Shakespeare and the movie.

The main thing I dislike is how they first met. Near the aquarium, and eyes locked with each other's. I mean, there could have been a twist. If you planned on writing another Romeo and Juliet with your own twist, add the twist in their first meeting first because that aquarium thing is too similar to the movie I've seen (and Shakespeare, I think).

Another thing is the love at first sight thing. I don't know why, but sometimes I just hate love at first sight especially when it's the first time they met and at the same day they slept together because they are in love. I know, that's what Romeo and Juliet is like, but I have to say this,it's way too fast to sleep together.  Now, I expect your story is historical, then I'd understand it.

Now, let's go to the main thing I love about your story. It's because, it's action-packed tale of love and family. I love the way it's so intriguing, making me imagine what would happen next every time I paused reading chapter after chapter.

The next thing would be Yunho. Okay, he's amazing in your story. I love him, seriously. He's one of the reasons why I thought I really should read this story right away, I love Yunho, he seems interesting, and I wonder what would happen to him. Whatever happens, I like his attitude in your story.

Lastly, the violence. It's hard to explain really, but I'm not a sadistic, I just love reading violence. That is just so much fun.

As the story progressed, I realized it's actually really good, I enjoyed it.

Originality (7/10)
I've read your twist and turns in this story and I love it. There are some that is similar to the original to Romeo and Juliet, but yours sounds more intriguing and fun. I applaud you for that.

Flow (5/5)
I already told you that I didn't like how fast they thought it was love, and kissed each other, slept with each other on the first night. That was just that. After that, the flow went smooth and good.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary(20/30)
Honestly, I've seen a lot of grammatical errors. I actually thought you have a good writing style but then again, it's the errors that made it hard to read. usually, I read straight-forward writing style which means 'not much' errors. But I've seen a couple of them in yours. It looks like English isn't your first language? If I'm right, then I understand.

Just proofread it, and it'll be alright.

Some of the errors are related to past and present tense. For example 'I'm worry about you'. Shouldn't that be 'I'm worried about you?'. It would be easy to understand by just reading it, seriously. Match the tenses, don't make it look different to the other, because it wouldn't make sense. Another is the punctuations. Don't write 'two periods' after a sentence, it's either one or three periods, remember that.

So, although I had fun reading your story, it was kind of discouraging too because sometimes I don't really fully understand what you're writing about because of your wrong grammar.

It's not that noticeable, but it would be better to look for some editor if you want something perfect.

Writing Style (6/10)
It was okay. It's just the grammatical errors that make it look not so good.

Overall Enjoyment (9/10)
I love it. Everything about the story.

Total Score: 74/100%

Reviewer: sususco123