calling coolgirlaamy
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Title (4/5)
Perfect title for your story—it definitely reflects off what you’re writing about. The only complaint I have is the capitalization; the title should read: “In the Eyes of a Prisoner”
Poster & Background & Trailer (-/10)
No poster, background or trailer so no points will be taken off.
Description & Foreword (10/10)
Both were perfect—no complaint here!
Plot (5/10)
The plot is generic, if you think about it, because it’s pretty much about Victoria forced to fulfill ual pleasures to Nichkhun and that’s plot has been used before. I just like the fact that you’re turning the generic plot into something of your own.
Originality (10/10)
Like I said, the plot is generic but you’re turning the plot into something of your own, so I would definitely say this is an original. I mean, it’s set in 1950 and you don’t find many stories with that setting, so I like it.
Flow (4/5)
The flow—the first two chapters felt like they were moving way too fast. Victoria was out at a dance and suddenly her parents come to her with news that she has to move. I actually want to read more about Jo Kwon and Victoria after the dance.
Other than that, the rest is fine.
Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (30/30)
There were no errors or mistakes—well at least I couldn’t find any.
Writing Style (9/10)
I love your writing style—I just wish for paragraphs and not 2-3 sentences.
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
This was definitely an enjoyable story—it has angst and tension which has me on the edge of my seat, wondering what’s going to happen to Victoria. I don’t know if I would consider subscribing to the story because I have an idea about what is going to happen and I’m not exactly familiar with the Nichkhun-and-Victoria couple. But who knows, I might if I’m really curious.
Total – 82/90
Reviewer: vangbby
This pretty much means you’re on the recommended list! Congrats!
Also, it looks like a couple of the comments got deleted; I'm not sure how but if you requested and you don't see it on the list, please request again
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