He knew that everything has its own circumstances.

Waking up in the morning, to someone else who wasn’t you, made him sick and hate himself every day. It was the things he had to do because of his father. It was the things he had no other choice but to do. Like his first marriage that felt suffocating at first.

Junmyeon realized he never had what he wanted even once. And when he fell in love with the woman, he hated the most. It was like his punishment; his father took her away from and gave him someone else. His father took the love away from him. He never gave it to him when he was a kid. He never allowed his mother who he saw only twice in his life to give that love to him and now he was taking away the love he had only knew and received in his life. 

This marriage was worse than his previous one because he had known Miya almost his whole life. And It was just sick to be with your sister. This felt like he was dying slowly, especially that his heart has settled down for someone else.

He sat on the edge of the bed, fully dressed. Miya was wrapped around in the bed sheet, still sleeping. She was in her thin layered undershirt with a single thin strip that fell over her shoulder. Somehow, Junmyeon convinced her to have some drinks first. Drink till she is drunk until she passed out until she would think that something had happened between her and him. It was the night after their wedding after all. She was his wife now.  

No, his real wife is somewhere in the woods, somewhere away from where his father can never find you or hurt you. He knew his father too well. If he knew that you were pregnant, he would take both your life and his baby.

He felt like he has cheated on you, even though nothing yet happened between him and Miya.  Just sharing a bed with someone who wasn’t you made him feel like a raw meat.

It was killing him to know that you hated him now. Sehun sent him along voice note about what happened and how she snapped at Sehun while cursing her husband who left her. Listening to the voice note, the world felt so small, so suffocating, so tight. It drove him crazy how much he wanted to find you right now and then and just keep you close and never leave you.

But before that, he should make sure that no one could hurt you. Even if he lost his own life, as long as you were safe. That was his first priority.

“Jun-oppa.” The sheet moved beneath him as Miya woke up.

“Uh, Miya.” He tried to smile, but it was no use. The pain in his heart was greater. The emotion of anger and anxiety was leaving a dead body with no soul. His soul was somewhere away crying for help.

“What are you doing?” She asked, crawling her way toward him. Tilting her head to the side, she gasped, before dropping to the ground and kneeled in front of Junmyeon. “Oppa,” She took in his hands. “Are you crying?”

He frowned, as he reached his hand to his cheek. It was wet. When did he start crying? “Oh! That’s.” He ran his hand over his face, wiping away all tears. “My eyes just hurt. I was going to the doctor soon. Don’t worry about this.”

She smiled sadly, nodding. “I will go and take a shower first.” She stood up and before she turned around to leave, she leaned and whispered something in Junmyeon’s ears made his eyes go wide. She kissed him once on the cheek before running to the bathroom.

Junmyeon could hear her crying from behind the door.

Adults made him forget how Miya was the only one by his side when he went through a hard time because of his father. She was the one who treated his wounds and made him warm food. She was the one who hid him from his father. She was the nicest sister he could ever have, and she took a good care of him.

Yet, he was so mean to her. You just can’t love someone because they are nice to you, after all.

Adults made him see her as a snake when she only loved him the way she always did.

Sometimes, he felt sorry for not being able to love her the same way she loved him

~ ~

It had been three months since the last time you heard from him.

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