Review for -heartfelt // By: chaniel

Title and Story Link:

Picturesque Supernova (Completed - One Shot)

Title: (10/10)

So I gotta admit, when I first read the title I was like "what the...-"  but that only got me more intrigued, and then I read the meaning in the foreword, and it really matched the story so to sum it up, it's really original and suits the story perfectly.

Overall appearance: (9/10)

I really, really like your poster. And bg too, of course. I like the font you used and the fact that's all with one color so it all fits. However that "Don't you shiver?" there is kinda distracting because it's in a bigger size than the rest of the words and I didn't really find it fitting.

Description and Foreword: (10/10)

Both your description and foreword where done right. When I read your description, I got that angst, psychological vibe from it so I sort of knew what was I going to read, and at the same time I had no idea at all. But that's good, because it gives an impression without giving too much of the story, and that's what descriptions should be like.

And again, I like that little title explanation on your foreword. I really do.

Plot: (19/20)

The plot, I must say was... psychological. It's not really a time line sort of story, but more of a psychological thing about the main character and his obsession with beauty. I liked the journey towards his "simple" idea of getting surgery like many koreans do (and find as normal as taking a nap) and then gradually started getting more and more obsessed with his looks and he started to go way over the edge of sanity.

However, the plot itself didn't have that much credibility (to me) mostly at the end. I get that this is just fiction, and I don't even question the face swap, but how could he stay in the bathroom for weeks without having their parents breaking in, or his sister, or anyone maybe looking for Taeyeon? That's the only thing I really can't figure out.

Language: (18/20)

Your grammar and spelling's really good, and you also have a way with words that gave the story so much more. However, I did find some changes from present to past tense that I found a little off, because you started with past tense, then suddenly switched to present, but then during the bathroom scene you went back to past and then finished it in past tense.

Here are a few sentences I would change, and some common typos that I'm sure you just missed during your proofread:

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