Review for LavenderAlisa19 // Reviewed by: khurui

Title and Story link:  

Deeply Rooted (Ongoing, reviewed with 8 chapters)

Title: (18/20)

Rather generic sounding title, gives off an angsty vibe. I can see how it would tie in with the plot of the story, but at the same time, it seems as though another title would do the storyline better. Though I'm reading the fic for the fic, not your title, so it doesn't matter too much.

Overall Appearance: (4/5)

I'm not one for graphics, sometimes they turn me off entirely, but that's more of a personal preference. Again, I'm reading your writing, not how well the person you found to make a poster did, so I don’t see why it matters all too much. Otherwise, layout of the story seems good to me. Only critique is that the unwieldy usage of italics in your writing, such as italicizing her and she to emphasize Aeri’s significance in Ricky’s thoughts. Slightly awkward to see constantly.

Description and Foreword: (13/20)

The description is usually almost a short (preferably one-sentence) summary of your fic. It’s one of the things that show up partly (200 characters to be exact) when potential readers are scrolling through whatever tag they’re looking at. This is what catches readers if your title doesn’t. Therefore, it might be best to  ensure that that’s what it does, and make good use of those 200 letters. Your description is a bit cumbersome. I understand they are song lyrics, but those might be best placed under the foreword. Under the description, it just doesn't give a good idea of what the reader is about to read. Otherwise, your description doesn't draw me in. The foreword would be the right place to give an excerpt from your fic, an author’s note, etc. Your foreword looks fine with your snippet from the fic.

Plot: (23/30)

The storyline dragged a bit. I understand how much of the chapters already written are about Ricky’s internal conflict with guilt and sadness, but it seems that that is all there is —in each chapter, a different way to display his loneliness. One factor that may be causing the plot to seem unmoving may be because of the characters, particularly the OCs (see Characterization). Another thing is the usage of plot devices seem jerkily inserted into the story, such as suddenly seeing Aeri again, or the fact that Ricky saves a little diary in his notes about Aeri. That last appears as a mechanism to get Hyun Ae to find out about Aeri, which is bound to happen sooner or later, but that might be a too simple way for Hyun Ae to discover it. When I was reading that part, I had guessed that maybe Hyun Ae had found pictures of Aeri instead.

Originality: (18/20)

The idea is simple enough, a guy who got dumped by his old girlfriend finds a new one for the sole purpose of reminding him of his ex. This probably goes into the cliche category (but what doesn’t these days?), however, it al