Review for NaughtyCasserole // By: caffeine_kiss

Title and Story Link:

Your Smile, My Sunshine (Completed One-shot)

Title: (8/10)

The title is good I think I know where you get the inspiration from, but I don't see the link between 'sunshine' and story. Maybe change it to 'When you smile.'? But of course, alright if you want to keep the original title though

Overall Appearance: (7/10)

The poster is really pretty, but I find that Chaewon looks a little creepy in there. II also don't really see how the background goes with the story. Despite that you did gain points for the contrast in the background. Lastly, I feel that you could have bolded the words that you wanted to emphasize on.

An example would be 'Oh Sehun' at the start since you were emphasizing on Sehun's character.

Description and Foreword: (8/10)

The description was described well. You phrased it really well, but I deducted two marks as in the foreword, it is said that Sehun could see the sadness in Chaewon's eyes. But when you were describing Chaewon, it is just said that she just did not know how to express her feelings. I don't really think that Chaewon is sad at all, instead she's just not good at expressing her feelings, that would cause a bit of confusion so I really hope you can change it.

Plot: (15/20) 

You had a really good idea, unfortunately, in the foreword it is mentioned that 'her side of the story was unknown to the rest' which would make readers curious to what her side of the story is, but you did not mention what her 'story' was in the plot. You could have also added a twist in the story as the ending could be predicted especiaally the part where Sehun confessed. You did get credits for making the ending a little different. You could also talk about the 'sunshine' when Sehun tried to get used to the brightness, you could perhaps describe Chaewon's face under the 'sunshine'.

Language: (18/20)

Your language overall was good, you had a good range of vocabulary words used to describe the feelings and thoughts, but there were a few grammatical errors here and there.

Errors spotted:
Kai just angrily pulled back twice… never like you!”
(Kai pulled back angrily, twice as hard as Sehun did and snarled, “Give… never like you”)
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