Review for onkeyjongmintae  // Reviewed by: Shy_Daydreamer

Title and Story link:

'Night' Adventures (Completed, one-shot)

Title: (9/10)

To be honest, I thought that it would be one of those fanfics because of the title, but since it turned out to be one of those cute and fluff fanfics I was really shocked, and impressed that you managed to shock me. That made a really huge impact, however I deducted a point because the title was a little too straightforward. I mean its relation to the story was too much to the point that it spoiled the content. Other than that, it was okay.

Overall Appearance: (8/10)

I personally love the cute poster. Fanfics get a lot of attention due to the titles and the poster, but since the poster was a little simple enough to bore the readers who wanted to look at a really amazing poster I deducted a few points. In terms of the font sizes and styles I don't have a problem with that, since the size and style you used were enough to be read and understood by the readers.

Description and Foreword: (8/10)

I understand that you tried to write your story the way authors write in LiveJournal, where they use some kind of listed information like what I just saw in your description. I do like the fact that it looked neat in the reader's eyes, but I don't really find it necessary that you should adapt the ways of writing from LiveJournal and use it here in AFF. Readers would really want to read little information about the story that they're gonna read, but the fact that they only read listed information about the story and a one-line intro sort of downed them, to the point that they thought that the story would be really boring or would mainly focus on the one-line intro you wrote.

However, the reason why I gave a high score was that I loved the neatness of the description and how it gave information about the story.

Plot: (16/20)

The plot line where a girl would bother two men just to hang out with her was unique, however I couldn't see anything interesting about it. In fact, I only saw what they did that night without feeling any thrill at all. She did bother two of her friends in the middle of the night just to entertain her, then what? I suddenly thought about that as I read the story. Most of the scenes there were pretty predictable, so like what I said, the thrill wasn't there anymore. But, I'll add a few points for originality in plot.

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