>Aggressive One

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Review for mrs_henrylau89  // Reviewed by: Shy_Daydreamer

 

Title and Story link:

Aggressive One (Completed, one-shot)

 

Title: (9/10)

I gave high points for the originality of the title. 'Agressive One' actually made me think about the dominant one whenever there was in a certain story. To be honest, I was thinking that you were referring to a man, so when I finally realized who you were actually referring to, I was a bit dumbfounded. So yes I was really impressed when you surprised me there.

Overall Appearance: (7/10)

For a story, pink didn't suit the story's theme. It would be okay if you used red or a darker shade of red. Pink sometimes represent fluff and sometimes angst, but it couldn't portray the feelings that a story could bring to the readers, so I deducted a few points.

 

Description and Foreword: (7/10)

Being a reviewer who LOVED reading stories, whether it's or not, I knew a thing or two about writing a description for a story. Your description was a bit too straightforward, because it immediately overshadowed what could possibly happen in a story, making the readers grow bored as they read the body since they already knew what might happen. If you're writing a description, especially for a oneshot, always keep in mind to not reveal a lot of what the story's about, to keep the readers curious and intrigued.

There were also errors in your description.

But unlike his other solo performances, wherein he just sings Christian songs, today is a lot different, never she had expected.
(But unlike his other solo performances, where he just sang Christian songs, it was a lot different that time, not like what she expected.)

Insecurity builds and she will show him how wild of a lady she is.
(Insecurity built up inside her and she will show him how wild of a lady she could be.)

 

Plot: (16/20)

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babyblueunicorn
#1
Chapter 179: Saw it now, I am so sorry for all the misspelling and all... That specific story was written before I had any experience here.... LOL

Yes, I would love to help you with your Spanish homework.
Claro, me encantaría ayudate con tu tarea de español cuando la escuela empiece. ¿De dónde eres? ¿En qué grado estas? ¡Háblame por mensaje privado!
hermeh #2
read my fic? :)