Review for Horramata // Reviewed by: pilsuk123

Title and Story link:

When Chanyeol read 10080 (Completed, reviewed with 5 Chapters)

Title:

The story title is direct, objective and simple. It's clear that it's a story related to the story '10080' and this is your story of When Chanyeol read the story. In my opinion, I guess it's an alright title because it's too direct but at the same time, since I can't think of another title better than it, it's a good title.

Overall Appearance:

I love the overall appearance of the story! The poster looked amazing, the background picture was simple and it wasn't distractive, the description/foreword page was organized and neat, the layout was simple and it was so pleasing and easy to read the story! The font and size used for the chapters are ideal as well because it was comfortable reading them. There's a few good points in the overall appearance in the chapter so I'll go through some that I really like. 

Chapter 1:

I love the part where you actually showed the view when Chanyeol searched 10080 on the internet. It gives the exact overall look on that scene and it's as though you see exactly what Chanyeol see as well. That's bringing your audience in the story to make it look real, so I really like that part. 

However, I don't understand why you leave out so many spaces in between from 'That day, Chanyeol signed 2 more albums that had 10080 on his page.' to '"10080''. Chanyeol wondered if Google would be able to explain his fan's obsession with the number.'.

Try to just leave a 2-3 lines of space instead of leaving one big empty space and anything more 3 spaces might end up to be too spacious and blank.

Chapter 2:

I really like the part where you start the chapter with a short part taken from the story of 10080 because this refreshes my mind of the story. I read the story quite some time ago and some readers might have forgotten it so adding this little segment helped me into getting the story's plot again.

Description and Foreword:

In my opinion, the description of the story is as direct as it can get as the title. It doesn't mean a bad thing or a good thing either because it's a little of both. It's bad because it's very direct, there isn't any mysterious touch to either the description and title but you can't be blame because this is very direct story at the first time. It's good because it targets a very specific group of readers, to be more specific the group of readers who read 10080. Readers who enjoyed reading 10080 will definitely be very interested and keen on the story upon reading the title and description. 

The foreword was mainly to write credits and have a small author's note so you categorize them correctly, it looks neat.

Plot:

This story's plot is amazing! I had such a great time reading it and even after days reading this finish, the plot stays so clear in my head! I can visualize everything you described, from Kris saving Baekhyun, from the emotions Chanyeol get from reading the story, from how the members lived life together and their hard trainee life together. There's a lot of originality in the plot itself even though it's written based on a fiction story! 

-Chanyeol and Baekhyun are straight in the story. 

Who says that whenever you paired both member or person together and shipped them means they have to be gay for each other? I was so pleasantly surprised when you decided to make both of them straight in the story. Not because I'm not a huge fan of or doesn't support gay but it's nice to see a change or have a different reaction from a usual story of two boys. When I was reading the scene where Baekhyun leaned in to kissed Chanyeol, in my mind I was complaining at how this is going to end of both of them liking each other, but you surprised me! I continue to read on and I laughed when Chanyeol realized that he's straight! I like story that surprised me with plot twist or prove to me that what I predict was wrong so thank you for that. 

It's nice to read a story of two very close friends together in a story where they don't end up together. My point is, it's nice to read a story about a honest and true friendship story.

-The sneak peek into their past trainee life.

I was glad that you added a small part of the story to describe and tell how important and supportive Chanyeol is to Baekhyun. Always there to support Baekhyun to not give up. I love how just a small part like that gives the reader a feeling of why Baekhyun appreciate Chanyeol so much and we can understand it when Baekhyun said he wanted his giant back because he take Chanyeol as an important person. Someone who molded him to him today.

hilarious moments

There's so many hilarious and funny moments that made me cracked up but some of the memorable ones are the part where Chaneyol head- Baekhyun, when Chanyeol grabbed the Tabasco sauce for Baekhyun and he replied with 'Thanks giant', the part

-Realistic moments

Despite it being a rather comedy and hilarious story, I like how you added a touch of seriousness in all that. The part where you added Chanyeol honest thoughts about exo. About them not being able to be together 'forever' or at least under they turned grey and old because there are inevitable things that couldn't be avoided. Car accident, members falling sick, or even worse some members leaving the group... I love that part best, I guess exo fans are now overjoyed with this talented band that they forget it could fall apart sometimes. Some of the past greatest bands fall apart and I hope the fans could appreciate their time now because nothing is 'forever'.

Here comes the critique part in my own opinion. Chanyeol overeating aft