Review for  Shiny_A_plus  // By: Michiusa

Title and Story Link:

Title: (9/10)

Your title is really fitting overall and makes a nice summary of your whole story. I did however find it a little revealing to your plot, just by reading the title I could make an assumption what's about to happen. 

Since you did kind of hint at the lead characters being kind of like chess pieces maybe your title could reference something to that? Maybe like Checkmate or Game of Chess? Sorry I'm not very good at titles either.

Overall Appearance: (9/10)

I know you said your poster and background was coming so I won't grade that. I found your Foreword page rather distracting with all of the pictures that you had, but other than that the layout was great. You kept it simple which has been proven is the best way to go.

Description and Foreword: (8/10)

I found it interesting that though your title is called Seducing Mrs. Choi, you choose to write from Emilie's perspective in both the description and foreword. And this kind of creates a kind of conflict though it's not a major problem.

In your foreword you had a lot going on, I felt it was kind of distracting. Maybe you should introduce your story first, including the picture of the rook, etc. then at the very bottom give your list of other stories that people can read.

Plot: (18/20)

I've read a few stories of within family romance, mostly brother/sister, and boy are they all steamy. Your story is no exception, so steamy and hot. I liked the fact that you didn't just dive into the story by just having the two main leads just going at it right away. You built up the suspense for the readers and enough for Minho and Emilie that they just kind of lost it but then Emilie starts questioning the relationship once she is thinking straight. And the fact that at least one of them is conscious of what other people would think of them made the story felt all the more realistic.

As much as your readers probably appreciate all your y Minho and Emilie scenes, I wish you could have explored them a little more emotionally, like go on a date. Or something normal that would bring them together just a little more because so far it seems like their relationship is based more on the physical attraction.  Please keep in mind I only read up to 15 chapters, so I might not have idea what I'm talking about for the future chapters.

Language: (19/20)

Your language was great and flowed nicely. There are a few mistakes I would look out for, mostly when using the words the, that, and this.

Misspelling:

-Let me tell a little of my side before we delve to deep here: Minho was a sweet kid.

(Let me tell a little of my side before we delve in too deep here: Minho was a sweet kid.)

Punctuation:

-“So. Doesn’t hurt anyone, does it?”

(“So? Doesn’t hurt anyone, does it?”)

Wrong word use:

-This kind of hurt my feelings, honestly; I felt like he was indirectly calling me old.

(That kind of hurt my feelings, honestly; I felt like he was indirectly calling me old.)

-I had to remind myself that Choi Minho was a typical teenager: mildly angsty and upset at the world for no reason, quick to argue and convinced they knew it all.

(I had to remind myself that Choi Minho was a typical teenager: mildly angsty, upset at the world for no reason, quick to argue and convinced they knew it all.)

-That afternoon, though, I caught him staring at the space between my thighs as I crossed one leg over the other—which seemed a little less innocent and a hell of a lot more deliberate, especially as I caught that tip of his tongue poking from out his soft, round lips.

(That afternoon, though, I caught him staring at the space between my thighs as I crossed one leg over the other—which seemed a little less innocent and a hell of a lot more deliberate, especially as I caught the tip of his tongue poking from out his soft, round lips.)