Review for unknown-stranger // Reviewed by: pilsuk123

Title and Story link:

An Ordinary Love Story (Ongoing, reviewed with 7 chapters)

Title:

First of all, I don't really like the title because of some of the reasons. Firstly, I felt that it's a flat story title. It doesn't excites you or make you feel that it's a special/interesting feel to it. Secondly, the title feels rather long and draggy, there's just too many syllabus in the title. Lastly, I'm not sure if it's the best title you can come up with. The connection of the story was alright, it's indeed a love story but I'm not sure about the 'An Ordinary' part. Their love story was actually interesting and nothing sort of ordinary. An ordinary love story, to me, will be a about a normal girl who fell in love with a boy and they end up happily ever after or something in the line or ordinary couple you see everyday but it is NOT. Their bond was special, their story was special, their connection was special, they love each other in a special way, both of them are special in their ways and characteristics with Hyunseng being the bad boy and Hyuna being a sweet but strong girl. Everything about them and the story was special, so I wasn't so sure about the 'Ordinary' part in the title. Now, coming on to the good things about the story is it's a unique story title. I tried checking it on aff and when I type in your title, your story came up 1st so that's good, it means there isn't any or similar title like yours. All in all, I think it isn't the best title for the story but it's an alright title since no one really have it so it's unique.

Overall Appearance:

The poster looks great, I really love the poster. It looks angsty and most importantly it suits their character well, they look real badass in the poster. The title font looks slightly messy but at least it suits the theme so no biggie and that quote in the poster is just... amazing. I really like that quote, it suits the poster and story's theme. The background picture was suitable and it isn't too distracting so that's good. In terms of layout, it changes differently in each chapter so I can't really judge but the font and size of the words was ideal and it's comfortable reading the story. The overall appearance of the foreword and description page was slightly messy and disorganized though. The foreword was categorize correctly with the credits and author's note but the description is the one. In the description, you're using 3 different type of textures and style. 1. the quote with it being the largest size and in green, 2. the introductory(She is a nice girl...) with the smallest size and 3. the last part of the description with the middle sized font and style. What I'll recommend to try making it neater is to have similar or same type with part 2. and part 3. Perhaps have them in the same size to make it look more put together. Other than those above, I think you did very well in fitting the overall appearance of the story theme together.

Description and Foreword:

As mentioned, I really like the quote you chose to use and relate for the story - The quote from Paul McCartney. It gives a interesting spark and feeling to readers who managed to chance upon the story. The quote chosen also somehow managed to blends in well with the story's description so that's good because you don't want an irrelevant quote to the description/story. I really like your way of writing the description for this story. Usually, most authors will tend to write a real description like a real story does. With an intense and profound description to catch a reader's attention but instead you chose a extrememly different simple yet effective way to do it. You actually write honest questions and answers that most readers would have. ''Why should I read this story?'' And instead of forcing an answer about how much you should really read it, you said that we shouldn't and why we shouldn't. That attracted me in the story. I shouldn't because it would hurt my emotions and see Hyuna suffer. There's honesty in that and it's a lot more effective than usual description. A unique and interesting way to write a description, and it works!

 how she fought to show that it was never wrong to love a bad boy.

The foreword is a lot neater and it have the correct content and organization with the credits and author's note. 

Plot:

I think right now, it's not fair to grade your plot since you've just started and so far you're just gradually building up the story plot. I'll just lightly comment on the 'Plot' because I'm sure you have a lot more surprises and good /plot twists in the future chapters. Now the story is going in a straight line. They fall in love > run away together > living a stable yet dangerous lifestyel. There' isn't any interesting fact so far. On the other side, I really like how you're not rushing the plot. You're building it up slowly and that's good if you want readers to be fully immersed in the storyline. For the future chapters, I hope you'll start exploring about the description you had written. About why is it worth it to love a bad boy, When, why, how, who will break Hyuna's heart etc? Don't be too focus on building up the story that you forgot about the main storyline/plot, try to reveal slowly bit by bit about the reasons and meanings behind the description.

Language:

I think, overall, you're good in your language. You know the basic, the tenses, vocabularly and grammer. It's just there's some typo and silly mistakes in between the chapter. I would really recommend to proofread or just read the chapter a few times before posting it. One main mistake that keeps on appearing is the lack/missing pucuation, especially during conversations. Put a comma or fullstop/period in them, I've shown couple of times below. I've also use from chapter 1-5 to show you some of the mistakes, typo and missing pucuation. Another reason for the mistake is just with the choice to words. Sometimes a similar meaning word can be replace so that the sentence can make more sense. (Examples below)

One last thing, this isn't important but I think it's better to have longer chapter if you're updation slow. In the first few beginning chapters, the lenght was solid and idael but recently in chapter 5 and 6, the length of the chapter was just simply too short for readers to fully enjoy them. Just try to remember to have longer and better chapter in the future.

From Chapter 1:

She was sixteen when she met him, still young and i