Review for Byunghunnie204 // By: chaniel

Title and Story Link:

Not-So-Perfect Match (Ongoing, Reviewed with 5 chapters)

Title: (6/10)

To be honest, I do like the title itself, but not the way it's written. Maybe instead of the little dash, I would use something like (Not so) Perfect Match, for example. Still it's a nice title but it might not catch everyone's attention. Also, it doesn't have any relation with the story (at least so far), so please take note that the title should be connected to the plot for the chapters that are yet to come.

Overall appearance: (6/10)

I have to say that even though I like the poster, I checked the other posters on the foreword I feel like the first one was so much better. I can see it has a different title so, did you change the name of the story? Also, the quote "Love's triangle story begin here" doesn't really make sense. It should be something like, "A love triangle story begins here."  instead.

You don't have a bg so I can't say much, but maybe you should consider getting one? It doesn't have to be with the characters or anything, maybe just one with colors that suit the rest of the description/foreword, and matches the poster? And maybe just use one or two colors for the things written in the foreword, since it looks better when the colors match with each other.

Description and Foreword: (6/10)

Regarding the Description, I would remove that big "summary" from there. People already expect a little summary in the description, so there's no need to point it out like that. And also, I would leave a space or two at the end, so that the last sentence of the description you wrote and the beginning of the Foreword section aren't too close.

A few mistakes spotted:

Since you're using present tense to say "I work for my uncle", then you should also use present to say at the start, "My story begins" instead of began. Also, I would use, "My story begins after I transferred" instead of "when I transferred".

"I work for my uncle, but the thing is, the job will put the people I love into danger." Here, I would just move the coma, and change the "into" to "in", so it turns out like this: "I work for my uncle but, the thing is, the job will put the people I love in danger." Also, instead of saying "will put the people I love in danger", you should change it for "can put the people I love in danger", or "would put the people I love in danger."

In the foreword, there are some mistakes too.

When you describe Jo Young saying "She had been every male’s ideal type at SM High", it doesn't make sense. Since she just transferred, she couldn't have been everyone's ideal type because they didn't know her. You can change "at SM High" for "at her old highschool". And also, "Once she transferred there, Someone has caught her attention", should be "Once she transferred to SM High, someone caught her attention."

About Sehun, you mention "actually he is playful and dorky one." It should be just "actually, he is playful and dorky." Or "a dork", if you want to. Then, "He only closed with" should be "He's only close to". "He also kind of Smart" should be "He is also kind of smart".

And with Kai, "He the most popular" should be "He is the most popular"."He Love to flirt" should be "He loves to flirt". And with "he was falling in love with someone. The true love", I would change it to "he fell in love with someone. His true love." or "he started to fall in love with someone. His true love."

Plot: (10/20) 

Ok, the plot is not exactly original. It's somehow the same as Boys Before Flowers, but of course with a few turns. However, it does have potential with the love triangle maybe, and the fact that your main character is a hit girl. An interesting plot would be that she has to kill one of the guys from EXO or a relative, but again is also kind of predictable. Maybe if she had already killed a family member of Sehun or Kai, that would be interesting when everyone finds out. Still, the idea of two 17 year olds buying a house, even though they have the money, is not real. Maybe they should be renting an appartment instead, but under Yoon Hye's uncle's name (or any other grown up), since I'm pretty sure you have to be an adult to sign a contract, no matter if it is for rent or to buy. And I get that they go to this SM High, but maybe you should explain why they chose that school just to set the idea that they did meet by chance. Or maybe, that she chose that school because she knew she had to kill a member of an EXO boy's family, but then starts to fall for one. For example, she has to kill Xiumin's father, so that would explain why she's not interested in Kai or Sehun, but then ends up falling for one of them two. So far it doesn't give me anything new and breath taking, that other story hasn't done yet. But there's some potential, so instead of going for the usual results, have a pretty interesting plot twist that actually captures the reader's attention.

Language: (3/20)

Here, I'm afraid, I'll have to be pretty harsh. It's more than obvious that english isn't your first language, but that shouldn't be an excuse. However, I did see a little improvement on chapters 4