Review for catherine123 // By: caffeine_kiss

Title and Story Link:

Meet You In Heaven (Completed One-shot)

Title: (7/10)

The title “Meet You In Heaven” is pretty much common in AFF, and it does not really attract my attention. The title is also supposed to give a mini overview of the story, thus I expected something that goes along the line of Lu Han and Seo Hyun falling in love again in heaven, which unfortunately you did not really write about until the little paragraph at the end.

Overall appearance: (9/10)

The appearance of the story is really neat and pretty which is good. I just have one problem, the poster has colours which do not contrast with each other thus, making it really hard for me to see and make out the words ‘Meet You I Heaven” despite knowing that it's the title.

Description and Foreword: (6/10)

I like the way you have written your description but I think it would be better if you had written a short description on each of the characters including the minor ones. Besides that, I did spot a few errors and I hope you would be able to correct them.

-“None of the relationships last long, do they?

(Relationships don’t last long, do they?)

-“When they end, its hard of the ex-couples to be friends agin”

(When relationships end, it’s hard for the ex-couples to be friends again)

-What if the boy changes his feelings, but the girl still remains inlove with the same guy…

(What if the boy has a change of heart, but the girl still remains in love with him…)

Plot: (14/20) 

In my opinion, the plot of the story is quite common as I’ve seen stories with a similar plot, but you did add a twist in it which earned you a few more marks. The starting of the story was really abrupt, when Lu Han wants to break up in the middle of the peaceful surroundings. Another thing is that Seo Hyun easily letting Lu Han go is a bit unrealistic, she should have at least asked Lu Han why he wanted to break up.

In the next part when you introduced Tiffany and Eunhyuk being her ex, Victoria popped out in the story all of a sudden, which made me confused, was Eunhyuk being confronted by both Tiffany and Victoria? Or was it a typo? Then you mentioned that ‘two months later’ Lu Han was chasing Tiffany for three weeks, was it two months later from the ‘one year ago’, or was it from ‘one month ago”? Also, Victoria appears again so I can assume it is a typo error right?

Then all of a sudden, Lu Han is missing for two weeks, which is so far logical, but then you mentioned that it made Seo Hyun cry, which does not really make any sense for her to cry, you could say she was very worried but not to the point where she feels like crying.

Next, when Seo Hyun is talking to Lu Han’s mother, Lu Han’s mother tells her to visit Seoul Hospital Room 406. Erm… I have not been to Seoul Hospital or anything but I do know the fact that there are many different blocks  in one, so you could maybe write ‘ Block C, Level 5 Ward 4’ or something like that.

Lastly, I know you wanted to end this sadly, but the ending was honestly too sudden. When Lu Han and Seo Hyun were talking, you could have added the fact that Lu Han was having difficulty breathing and he was using all the strength he had to continue the conversation. Another thing that did not make sense was that Seo Hyun passed away on the spot. I understand that you wanted them to go to heaven together but then I do not think it makes sense that Seo Hu died because she cried so much, it would be much logical if it is written as she died a few months later du