Review for serendipity-- // By: chaniel

Title and Story Link:

Forevermore (Completed - One Shot)

Title: (10/10)

There's nothing bad I can say about the title. It suits the story perfectly, it sets the mood for some angsty love, and it connects with Chanyeol's character in the most perfect way possible. Seriously, the title is just excellent.

Overall appearance: (10/10)

I love you poster and background! The poster's so cute and it even has the bench where Chanyeol was sitting when he first saw Baekhyun (it's that one, right?).

I even like the colors you use on the description page and also on chapter one. I love that birds picture you use to mark time changes and the change of colors for Chanyeol's letter or Baekhyun's recording.

Oh and just on a side note, the picture on chapter one actually says "Baekhyun-ah, I love you" in korean (not that it matters xD).

Description and Foreword: (10/10)

I love your description! It sets the mood and it basically gives what's the story's gonna be about, but at the same time it practically says nothing about the plot itself, so it doesn't spoil it for the reader; it just gives a small introduction.

And that quote, "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay a while, make footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same again." That's really touching. And it's perfect for the story, it basically describes Baekyeol's relationship without really giving off much about it. It's just a such a great choice. There's seriously nothing else I can say.

Plot: (19/20)

Such. A sweet. Plot. The story is just so cute and perfectly put together, and I love that I doesn't happen in a small period of time, but it goes on for years. That's when I truly believe they are in love. I'm not a fan of "love at first sight" or characters who say they love each other after dating for a few weeks, so I'm all in for stories like yours; they meet, there's an attraction and they just click. However neither of them hurry into anything, they just enjoy each other's company while Chanyeol tries harder and harder to figure out what is it about Baekhyun that makes him feel that way, yet at the same time he doesn't care and just goes along with it because it feels good.

I loved how you marked the seasons and the months all throughout the story, because it helped the reader settle in the timeline and follow the events together with the characters.

And the ending is just perfect.

I was surprised because I was actually expecting Chanyeol to be the one to die (I somehow knew someone was going to die, that did feel a little predictable), but I had predicted a different ending, something like Chanyeol's time is frozen but starts again now that he met Baekhyun, but only to take away all the time left in a second because of all the years he wasn't supposed to have. Or something like that.

So your ending was a nice change. Even with the Paris thingy, I just thought Baekhyun would fell in love with the city and never come back or something like that. So I was surprised to see where you took the story, I love it when I can't predict the ending.

I did feel that Chanyeol's immortality plot lacked a little explanation, because I would've liked to know when did his time stop, why, or if he was ever going to be able to start growing old and die.

Language: (19/20)

 Your language is almost perfect as well. You have a way with words that just touches people and it just suits the sort of story you wrote. Everything, even the small change from part tense to present was done right, and that is very difficult for many writers.

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