Review for shixotic // By: pilsuk123 

Title and Story Link:

Title: (6/10)

The title was too generic and common, it's such a waste because the story itself is actually so good. Even though the title and the story has strong connection together and it was amazing how you emphasis the title's meaning (Once) in the story and story's description often. I would have change into a better and a more special/unique title to catch the reader's attention. 'Once' didn't catch my attention at all, I would have missed this great story for the title.

Overall Appearance: (9/10)

Even though there isn't a poster or background picture, the simplicity of the story and the page suits well together. I don't know if I might like the story to have a background picture as it might be unsuitable with the story but I'll recommend getting a poster! The way you write the story was really pleasing to read as well, you always remember to break the story up into paragraphs and this avoid making your story too wordy. I was really pleased with it!

Description and Foreword: (8/10)

I love your description, it was very well-written! I was really impressed at how you manage to emphasize or at least able to show the relationship of the title with the story. The word 'Once' was emphasize in the description and the last line of the description was beautiful. I love everything about the description but it's the foreword I didn't quite like. It's slightly too long and it gives off too much information for a one-shot. The content of the foreword could be better place in the story (chapter 1) itself instead. To be honest, I actually didn't read finish the foreword because it was slightly long and wordy. If not, you can try to shorten the foreword instead or write another foreword where it doesn't reveal too much information of the plot.

Plot: (20/20) 

I don't think it's easy to get a full marks on plot, especially on a one-shot because one-shot's plot tend to be extremely skeptical and short. It doesn't deliver enough to affect the readers but this is different. I love every single part of it, from the beginning to the end. It was so beautifully yet melancholy magical touch to the story. Even though, I feel that the plot could be better improve with more explanation and description of Suho and Susie relationship together, the way the story was written win me over everything. I love how it was written in a unique way of her coming back as a soul/ghost and written in a way she's seeing everything differently now. Her parents grieved for her, Ally was devastated, Suho was broken... 

What I love from the story with so much admiration is that after reading the one-shot, you actually learned a lot more than it's written. You're not only reading a story but you're also learning a lesson from it. And that isn't easy to achieve. You managed to taught readers of what leads after suicidal and you taught us how valuable life is, and you taught us how by killing yourself will affect everyone else and it's not worth it.

The way you ended the story was perfect. Even though people might have wished that could rewind and Susie wouldn't die, I actually love how you decide to end the story. You feel that satisfaction from reading the ending and it makes you yearn for more. I love how you decide to add the detail about Susie now watching over the one she love, it was really romantic and pleasant. 

What I felt could better improve the plot is that you should have written more about Suho relationship with Susie. I couldn't feel the strong connection or love from them despite it being stated. It should not only be written but it should be proven. You can write flashbacks or past memories of them together by Suho or Susie. For example, when Suho spoke to S