Title and Story link:

Title: (9/10)

The title is very unique to the story and it's well associated with the story of how the song is very important to Yoona. I took a point off because the title is based on what the drama has stressed so I can't call this title exactly your own.

Overall Appearance: (9/10)

I love the poster you created for the story, it's so soothing and fitting to the story. I think it's probably the best one out of all three of your artworks. You also had such a very nice and professional layout throughout the chapters and the foreword with the pictures. There were some inconsistencies of the font and size between some of your chapters. Even though other readers have already read the first few chapters, you should still change it to the same format.

If you decide to make another poster then I recommend adding a child to it because Yoona and Changmin's child played such a huge part of the drama that is if they do manage to have a child.

Description and Foreword: (8/10)

I really liked your description. It really drew me in with the quote of someone who seems to have given up on love. And I liked how you organized the whole front page. The wording of your excerpt didn't was a little confusing because of a few things, what does chance and fate have to do with monopoly? and how is the success of chance lead them to falling in love. And if they haven't fallen in love why should they continue on and face what fate has given them to fight for falling in love? and honestly your summary interested me more than the excerpt. Based on the rest of your writing, I think you can come up with a better excerpt. And there were two mistakes in your excerpt. It should be Yoona asked not said.  And it should be her voice dropped to a whisper. or her voice dropped to a whisper,(Comma). Otherwise it would be an incomplete sentence.

Plot: (10/20)

From what I've read so far, you didn't stray too far from the drama's plot which really hurt you in terms of originality. But since you did say it's adaption, I don't know if it was your intention to keep everything the same or to make it your own. If you still want to make this story unique then go ahead. You've still got a lot chapters to go before the end so there's plenty of time for you to add your own twist to the story to make this piece your own. 

Language: (17/20)

Overall your language flowed nicely and I could understand exactly what you wanted to express. You didn't have any major errors, however I noticed you have a habit of using the same wording. While it's not wrong, repeating the same information again can make your story more dull. Such as when you say Changmin threw his keys to the girl sitting next to him. Then two sentences later you point out Jessica, the blonde sitting next to him. If you feel it's necessary to point this fact out you could try a different way of saying it like Jessica, the blonde girl who accompanied him. One other thing I noticed was for past actions you like to write it as was doing something. This also isn't a wrong way of writing but this is a rather passive way of saying a sentence. Rather than just saying Everyone was watching her, simply write everyone watched her. Some other things you should take note of is incomplete sentence and how you word things. I provided some examples for  you to consider, keep in mind this isn't all of the errors.

Incomplete sentence:

-She had big eyes, clear skin, a long slender figure, and a fair number of boys at the university campus who were intent on gaining her affections. 

(She had big eyes, clear skin, a long slender figure, and there were a fair number of boys at the university campus who were intent on gaining her affections. )

-Yoona-sshi, I’m willing to settle this as long as you pay me back. For the dent on the bumper, the scratched paint, and the replacement of some of the gears inside.

(Yoona-sshi, I’m willing to settle this as long as you pay me back for the dent on the bumper, the scratched paint, and the replacement of some of the gears inside0

-Ever since I’ve got anger control problems.
(Ever since then, I’ve had anger control problems.)

-Yoo