Review for Nictaeny9 // By: OutspokenGirl612

Title and Story Link:

Dark Ties (Ongoing, reviewed with 8 chapters)

Title: (10/10)

The title works well with the story plot; mixing all their sad and dark pasts with them getting attached to each other. It’s simple, but attractive for the reader. 

Overall Appearance: (6/10)

The poster is nice, it would be even better and much more dramatic if you added a dark background, could be a plain black image, or a dark gray image with texture; you can also ask the designer of the poster to do an according background with the title if you want.  

I must say the change of fonts and colors in the Foreword/Description page are really bothersome. It takes away glamour from the story, plus it practically makes the eyes unfocused.

As for the chapters, is that font in size 16? Or is it in bold? I would suggest lowering it to a 14 so that it’s easier for the eye to follow. By having a bigger font to try and make the chapter look longer you really don’t accomplish much. 

Description and Foreword: (5/10)

The description works well in terms of catching a reader’s attention. The use of questions to sparkle curiosity is one of the best tools a reader can have. As for the foreword, even though it’s okay to have characters’ descriptions, they both serve in the same way as the description, so it’s not really that useful. You can leave them there, but add a small excerpt from your story that you find good and likeable; that way the readers will have a glimpse as to how your writing style is, and decide if they really want to keep on reading without feeling disappointed.

In both the foreword and the description you have grammar mistakes, but I’ll point some of them in the Language section.  

Plot: (16/20) 

The plot idea, even though started as something cliché, it’s actually good. The whole idea of reveling information of their pasts to each other at a slow pace is great. Also, the violent past of Taeyeon is very intriguing and appealing, even if it’s dark and morbid. It makes the reader want to know when her mask will finally break. Switching P.O.V.’s without a pattern can be a problem, though. The reader might get confused as to who is talking. Try to develop a pattern, maybe put two chapters for one girl and two for the other, and so on.

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