Review for dennisse // By: chaniel

Title and Story Link:

P.S. Forgotten (On going, reviewed with 5 chapters)

Title: (9/10)

I like the title. Right from the start I can see that's gonna be an angst story, and it really suits the plot, I have nothing to say about it. It's memorable and it makes you interested in the story. However I was confused and I was going to ask what "P.S." meant because it didn't fit the story if it meant "Post Script". But, since you explained that's not what it means, I guess I'll have to wait till next chapter to find out. It'd still be somehow confusing for the "P.S." thing.

Overall appearance: (9/10)

Your poster's really good. I like it and I like the korean in it too. The background's basically the same as the poster but without their faces, but is still good.

About the chapters, at least I like the fact that you kept the same font in all of them (something I pay attention to) but on chapter 3 (i think) you added a line to mark a different day, right? It's a good idea, but if you're going to do that, I'd suggest you to leave a few spaces in between so that the line and the last sentence of the paragraph aren't too close to each other.

Description and Foreword: (9/10)

Your description and foreword are neat. I like the foreword a lot, it gets me interested in the story and it shows Kyungsoo's pain. However, the description says maybe a little too much. Just by reading it you can tell what the plot's gonna be about. It's not bad, but I wasn't reading it while thinking "what's the story about", because I already knew. Instead, I would get the last part of the foreword (the one about the tears) as a description, and then leave the foreword with Kyungsoo's thoughts about his change. I like how you end that part with the "Right?" because it leaves a good impression, so that's why I think you shouldn't write anything else after that. And the description pretty much talks about the same, only it also says he'll meet Kai again everything, giving too much of the story.

Plot: (18/20)

I like the plot. Really. It's really different of the usual stories I read, so that's really good. I have a little problem with stories written in present tense, but you manage to keep it very neat and understandable, so it's good.

The idea of someone changing not only on the inside but on the outside, that's really interesting. And of course, make them fall for each other again it's what the whole story's about.

However, I would've preferred it if Kyungsoo took more time to be "ok" with hanging around with Kai; for someone who's that broken and who loved Kai so much, it doesn't seem real that he'd let him back into his life so easily. I'd expect more resistance and maybe some breakdowns for having to see that person he fought so hard to forget.

Language: (18/20)

Your language and grammar are pretty good. However, there are a few mistakes with the tenses sometimes. It's hard to keep up with present tense; for some reason it gets confusing. You manage to keep it up really good, thought, but here are a few tense mistakes and typos I came across with:

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