Review for LittleLiar // By: pilsuk123 

Title and Story Link:

Title: (8/10)

I really like all of the story title that I reviewed for you because they immediately relate and show connection with the story plot. In this case, you showed the relation between the title and the story plot almost right away in the description and foreword. After reading it, the title stood out even more, it's memorable and direct. It's a great title!

Overall Appearance: (10/10)

The layout was so simple yet so pretty, I really love it! Except, I've mentioned this before that the layout don't work well in iphones but that shouldn't matter much. The font and size of the words are ideal, it was comfortable reading and there's paragraphing in between making the page less wordy or boring. The foreword and description page was so neat and organized, impressed! On the side note, get a good and nice poster for the story. 

Description and Foreword: (7/10)

Both the description and foreword is amazing, it draws attention and interest! You've written and thought of them well! There's just a few sentences I would phrase differently below. The length of the description wasn't too long or too short, it was ideal!

Description:

Now this guy turns his world upside down that makes it impossible for Jongin to focus on studies, instead he concentrates on what he should do with this exquisite guy he never thought would be his life ruiner forever. 

(Now this guy turns his world upside down making it impossible for Jongin to focus on his studies and instead concentrates on what he should do with this exquisite guy he never thought would forever be his life ruiner.)

A moment later, he stands up to get some fresh air when he feels dizzy

and all he knows that time was that he heard a loud thump before everything went dark.

(A moment later, he stands up to get some fresh air when he suddenly feels dizzy

and the next thing he know is he fell to the ground with a loud thump and everything went dark.)

Plot: (16/20) 

There isn't much I can comment for the plot but I can already see the plot thickening. Just with 4 chapters, I really like the plot! I think it my favorite with all the other three stories I reviewed for you before. It's realistic, interesting and entertaining! I love how you write the story in a way that it's dreamy yet realistic at the same time. However there's a few things I would like to point out. Firstly, the plot was going slightly too fast. There's also complication and problem in the story which make the story even better and interesting! I'm glad that this time you decided to just choose lesser different stories to focus because that way readers can enjoy the story better!

There's a few part I was confuse though, for example in chapter 1 ending. I don't understand the ending at all, I mean does Jongin know Suho from elsewhere before? 'And . He remembers something horrible that Jongin can't step closer to the 'perfect' guy he it's saw. Well, damn.'

Language: (16/20)

I was so impressed by your language, as you mentioned that your teacher said you're getting better and it's true! There was barely any major/big mistakes and this time I could read smoothly because your sentence structure had improved too! There are a few mistakes/typo I've listed below. I think this time your writing style changed a little but in a good way. You describe more fully on one scene before moving on, that's good! You just have to focus on the tenses because you seem to change it frequently. If you're using past tense, use it constantly from the beginning to the end. Some of the examples below might differ in tenses and meaning because I don't know for sure what you're inferring about so here are some examples I manage to find in chapter 1 and 2. 

Chapter 1:

Monday is the worst day of the week for Jongin, since it's the usual day for the professors to give home works, seat works, and projects. And Jongin hates it.

(Monday is the worst day of the week for Jongin, since it's the usually the day for the professors to give home works, seat works, and projects. And Jongin hates it.)

Nevertheless, he obliges to do those thi