Review for Ricchan // Reviewed by: pilsuk123

Title and Story link:

Fantasy (Completed, one-shot)

Title: (7/10)

I'm quite torn between loving the title or finding it rather overused. I love it because it's straight to the point and once you read the story's description, you could definitely and almost immediately see the connection between the title 'Fantasy' and the story's plot of some sort of fantasy. The title definitely caught my attention only after I read the description. If I didn't read the description, I would find the title to be rather plain and uninteresting. So, there's some good points and bad points of the title but I think it's still a rather good title because the title was so memorable and has a strong relation to the story. 

Overall Appearance: (10/10)

I love the classy and beautiful poster, the pretty background picture and the consistent use of orange colored words to make them stand out. Both the foreword/description page and the chapter page was extremely organized and clean! The only thing I didn't quite like was how spacious the chaptered page looked. There was too much spacing in between each new paragraph and since the paragraph aren't long, and with too much spacing, it can looked a bit too little and spacious. Just be careful with that and maybe have the new paragraph in one spacing instead of two or three spacing before a new paragraph.

Description and Foreword: (9/10)

Firstly, as mentioned, the description and foreword page was orgainzed so good job on that and I like how you consistently use the colour orange as the colour for the words and it suits the whole theme of the poster and bacground picture but try using a darker colour of organe or any other colour because if the colour gets slightly too light, it can look neon and annoying to read but so far, it's fine. I love the content of the description that you decided to write, it made me feel interested on the story by just the description. You revealed enough just to make readers interested and you didn't reveal too much that it summarizes the whole plot, in other words, it's just enough. 

I might like the content of the description but I think it could be better phrase and rearrange because it feels awkward to read it. 

She never went out from that tiny house. Everyone said there’s no one living in that house, yet I believe my own eyes.

She never left from her tiny house before and even though everyone said there's no one there, I believe my own eyes. She exists.

>The arrangement of the whole sentence was messy. You should write about how everyone thinks the house is empty and then write about how you believe your own eyes and know that she's in the house even though she never leaves the house. 

Everyone said that I’m daydreaming. But how can I dream it, when that time… I can feel her hand touching mine, and her lips attached on my lips?

Everyone said that I'm just hallucinating and that there's no such girl. But how can it all be a hallucination, when I felt her hand caressing mine and her lips touched mine?

>I don't think daydreaming is correctly describe his imagination because he felt it and it feels so real so I think hallucinating would be a better word to describe it.

It happened two years ago and I still believe that she’s real. She is real, not a fantasy of mine. Even though, she’s not one of us.

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