Review for kissme_matoki  // Reviewed by: pilsuk123

Title and Story link:  

I'm Here For You (Completed, reviewed with one-shot)

Title: (7/10)

The title was very nicely incorporated into your story. The main part of the whole story is Chanyeol being there for the oc and I feel that the title was ideal for the story, it suits perfectly. However, in terms of practicality it's not as good.

Firstly of all, 'I'm Here For You' can pretty much be applied to many other stories and this would not be memorable for many readers. You can add a word in that will make your title stand out more and make it more original. If you would to search 'I'm Here For You' into the search box, you can see that there's tons of story title that are either similar or completely the same. Secondly, it doesn't catch people's attention immediately. The only thing that might bring me over to read the story is either because there's exo as characters and also because the description sounds interesting. 

Overall Appearance: (5/10)

There's isn't any effort placed into the story in terms of it's overall appearance and visual to attract readers. It's pretty plain because there wasn't any poster or background picture. By having just a simple one coloured background would definitely helped to brighten and make the story more fanciful. For the description and foreword, it was slightly disorganized. The foreword was too long and the the whole page was written with the same colour, font, texture and style of the words. You should have bolded words, italic them etc to make readers want to read on but it was slightly boring and simple in terms of the story's overall appearance. 

Description and Foreword: (6/10)

The description is good, it actually attracted my attention and pique my curiosity from it. I like such stories the elements of romance, betrayal and friendship and hence it immediately drew me into the story. Your description did a good job in describing the story shortly but in a interesting way! I would've hoped you could try changing the font to spize things up or italic/bold some words in the description to make it more impactful. Also, it would be better to make it more mysterious by not revealing too much. 

For example:

Unrequited love is awfully painful, but seeing him with the one you're really close to is unbearable.

(Unrequited love can be awfully painful, but seeing someone you love with some one else you've trusted was simply unbearable.)

Just by changing a few words, twists into to make it even more mysterious and by adding a few different texture could help make a better description. For instance, bolding some words or having some words in italic etc.

For the foreword, it was again too mundane and boring. Try to improve it by adding a different fonts and style to the words and keep it shorter. The foreword's content is at least twice or thrice the length of the description.

Plot: (12/20)

The plot isn't exactly original or special, it's exactly what the description summed up about unrequited love and it being unbearable and the title has already kind of hinted about someone being there for the oc. There isn't any plot twists or original plot in the story, it was kind of predictable. However, I had to say that despite all of it, I actually really enjoyed and like the plot somehow. I think the way you had written the story kind of save it, especially the ending. Since from the beginning, the story was already rather predictable with her best friend dating her crush and later Chanyeol come in to stand by her side in her weakest moments but what I really liked about the plot was how you write about them ending up together. 

I was already groaning at how the ending is going to be Chanyeol confessing his hidden affection towards the oc and later she confessed that she kind of liked him too. It's similar but with a twist. I liked how her best friend turned around and said that friendship is more important and wants to break up with Kyungsoo for the oc but unexpectedly, she doesn't want Kyungsoo anymore! I was really surprised by it because all along in the story, she's obviously have something for Kyungsoo for a long time and when she stood up and said she doesn't want Kyungsoo anymore, it kind of threw me off guard. And I like being proven wrong. 

Instead, she keep her pride and decided to give Chanyeol a try. Even though she doesn't really mentioned about liking or thinking of being with Chanyeol, the moment when he confessed, I could feel that she was kind of moved and was pleasantly surprised by it. 

The ending of the story was probably the best part because my mouth was hurting from all the big smile I had on from reading the ending. It's sweet and unexpected how she actually accidentally and indirectly confessed back that she might kind of liked Chanyeol as well. "I already have Chanyeol-sunbae with me.'' And Chanyeol's reaction from that sentence made me feel so happy and excited for them. I can totally imagined his disbelief and surprise and smirking facial expression when the oc girl said that.

I was already all happy and contented with all the fluff and happiness from that scene and if that's not enough, the last two sentences made me died.

'I guess that means yes?''

You held his hand and nodded.

Language: (16/20)

I find that the main problem in the story's language is that most of the sentences are far too short and incomplete. Most sentences could either be joined together or add more details into it had all ended up short. For example: Hye Jin tried to grab your arm. You roughly avoid her hands.There, the two sentences would be joined together with a connector. Also, there's also some tenses mistakes here and there, I've listed them below. 

One last thing, I don't think it's necessary to add a dash before sunbae. So instead of 'Kyungsoo-sunbae', you can just write it without the dashed (Kyungsoo sunbae/Kyungsoo sunbae-nim).

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter