End
Meant to Be?
END
Baekhyun rushed out of the classroom and Mr. Song knew something was up between the kids. He understands situations such as this one and marked them both present to prevent them from getting in trouble. The classes are all around an hour and fifteen minutes, so he hoped that they would return by then.
"Alright class, let's get started..."
***~~~***
I can think of only one place where you will be. The auditorium.
Baekhyun ran to the auditorium and sure enough, there was Kyungsoo sitting and looking out to the stage. He had tears rolling down his face and he was softly crying to himself. Baekhyun slowly walked over and Kyungsoo had not noticed at all. Kyungsoo was quietly whispering to himself.
"No... I don't want to go back to that... I don't want to get hurt..." Baekhyun felt really bad for Kyungsoo. The poor kid seemed to be going through so much.
"Hey... You want someone by your side now?" Kyungsoo jumped and wiped away his tears.
"I'm fine, don't worry about-"
"Stop hiding it from... Well stop trying to hide it from me. It's very obvious to me that something is bothering you and I don't know why you won't tell me anytime soon." Kyungsoo let out a sigh and tears began rolling down his face again. He couldn't control it at all. Baekhyun sat down next to him and put his arm around him. Kyungsoo cried into Baekhyun's shoulders and Baekhyun doesn't mind at all. He wants to let Kyungsoo release all the tensed up emotions inside him before talking it all out. After a while Kyungsoo had seemed to finally calmed down.
"So now... Tell me what's wrong..." Kyungsoo sighed and nodded.
"The trip... Tokyo. It was a great experience for me. At first I was able to finally clear my mind of Jongin. For so long you don't understand how much I would think about him and yearn for us to be back together. Constantly going through the days and just finding them Hell because he was gone. I had lost the old Jongin that I loved so much. I just questioned myself to see if it was all worth waiting and fighting for. While we were in Tokyo, I could see that things changed for me. I became stronger and I thought I was more independent from him. It turns out, I was somewhat wrong. When we came back from Tokyo... I didn't want to come back actually. Not just because we had so much fun there, but because it gave me an excuse not to talk to Jongin. It sounds cold and all, but yeah, it truly helped me get over him..."
"Are you saying that you're falling for him again?" Kyungsoo's tears began rolling again.
"You know Baekhyun... This morning I was completely fine. I was all set for school and what was to come. I didn't think that I would have to deal with this situation. Who could've thought that bumping into him would bring back so many memories... I was walking to first block... And then I accidentally bumped into him... He didn't seem to change much... I thought I had changed, but when I realized it, deep down inside me, I wanted him back. I wanted the old Jongin back and I wanted to go back to how things were before." Baekhyun patted Kyungsoo's shoulders.
"Listen Soo, if things are meant to be, then so be it. You just need to find the courage to move on. The only way to do that is by rejecting him and telling yourself not to fall for that anymore. I know it's easier said than done, but it's the truth isn't it? I think the reason why you felt so much better in Tokyo was because you didn't have to encounter him at all and it was all voluntary whether you wanted to talk to him or not."
"Yeah... That probably was it. But there's more... This isn't the reason why I came here to cry alone... I did want the old Jongin back. I did cry about losing him and how precious we were together. I don't understand how I can still have so much feelings for him after all that's happened..."
"You're just in a new state right now. It takes time to overcome these things and when you finally do, you understand it yourself how free you feel."
"Yeah... It feels great. You're happy for no reason. You're happy without someone there. I love that. I wish I can return to those times before Jongin entered my life..." Kyungsoo started crying again, "I wish I can just... Ugh. I don't know."
"What, come on, tell me what's wrong."
"I really wish... I could just end it all. I want to end all the feelings that I have for him. I want to move on and forget about him forever. I don't want to be clinging onto something that will prove hopeless to me later on. I've thought about it Baekhyun, I've thought about how much pain I was in when I was with Jongin. You don't understand it yourself, I think, but when I thought back to it, it was nothing but constant struggling and sure there was happiness, but there was more struggling than happiness. I don't want to go back to that. I want to be saved. I don't want to return back to feeling alone when you thought you had someone. Feeling dependent on someone, feeling like you're worth nothing. How can I still love him after all that?!" Baekhyun was completely silent. "I just want myself to stop loving him! I feel like I hate him, but I really love him! I hate this! If I could stop loving him and walk away as easily as he did, I would."
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This chapter is a LITTLE bit shorter than the others, but I wanted to put all of his feelings together in this one chapter. You guys aren't bored of your mind are you? XD Chapter updates are coming soon! :D
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