SHATTERED

“Is this really what’s been going on?” Kyungsoo couldn’t help himself him anymore. He let out all the tears that has been held in for seemed like forever. He fell to the broken glass on the floor and just broken down. “Ever since I started talking to her again… That’s it isn’t it?”

“I… I couldn’t help myself…” Jongin knelt down next to him.

“First off, get off the floor. You’re getting cuts all over yourself now.” Jongin picked him up and Kyungsoo hugged Jongin as soon as he got up.

“I’m so… I’m so sorry… for this… for all these stupid… feelings… these mis… understandings. I-I wanted to tell you! I wanted to tell you all of it! I kept everything bottled up and just wanted to keep it from you until it was the right time!”

“When would be the right time?” Kyungsoo cried harder and shook his head.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Soo, stop crying. Honestly, don’t worry about these little feelings of yours because in the future it’ll just end up hurting you. If you constantly think of me, then you’re never going to become stronger.” Jongin took Kyungsoo away from him. He held Kyungsoo by his shoulders. “I still love you, a lot. But you yourself need to become stronger and more independent sometimes. Being dependent on me isn’t going to do very well for you when it comes time to leave me. Don’t you see that I’m doing this for you?”

“I-I knew you w-were doing it for some reason… but… I wasn’t sure…”

“It’s for you!”

“Kai… I just wanted to… I want to be with you forever and the thought that you stopped loving me… I couldn’t help it…”

“Kyungsoo, what has gotten into you? Be stronger than this! You’re more than capable of overcoming this!”

“You try overcoming love! You do it and tell me if you succeed! I want to see you overcome love and completely change yourself to stop loving the person you do now! Do it!” Jongin paused and kept silent.

“You’re silent… it’s either because you know you can’t… or-”

“Stop there, that hasn’t happened.”

“You’re saying it might, right?”

“I’m not saying that everything is permanent, but I’m saying that I still love you very much.”

“Doesn’t it kill you when you think of the past? What we had together?! Don’t you ever just cringe and want them back?”

“What’re you…”

“Everything that we did in the past, the cute stuff, the kissing, all of it! It’s all gone! I’ve seen it all crumble within ONE day! All of it just shattered and I was left with a new Kai.”

“Kyungsoo, I-”

“I miss the old us. The way we used to just talk about anything and just be so cute towards one another! I know that I can’t have that, but just something similar to it. I want it all back! That’s what made me happy! You think this makes me happy?! THINK Kai, THINK! When was the last time you told me that you love me? When was the last time we kissed?! When was it!? Is it so far back you can’t remember? Is that it? I don’t remember either because it was so long ago! I’ve had enough of this thing called love!” Kyungsoo points to the glass. “That’s me right now. That’s how I’m feeling inside and every single confession that I spill out to you cuts me like how this glass does. It hurts, but letting the blood flow and letting the confessions go, they just feel so good inside. I’m finally glad that I can tell you all of this. If this is what you wanted, then I’m glad you got your wish. I didn’t think we would last ever since you changed your ways, but I kept on fighting and pushing. I did my best to keep on moving forward. Everyone saw how I was stuck in the past!” Jongin stood there quietly just taking it all in. All the feelings that Kyungsoo felt, the confessions that he’s been waiting to hear, it all made sense now.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t think it was that hard on you-”

“Don’t give me your pity. I’ve wanted to hear an apology from you for a while. You think these days have been easy?! You read my messages and I just sit there like a fool. An honest, loyal fool who has nothing better to do than worry than his boyfriend won’t text him back. And then when the response finally comes in, I get nothing except a simple ‘sorry.’ Finally, after hearing your apology, it means nothing to me. It doesn’t even soften my anger one bit. I never knew this could happen to me, or even thought I could be yelling at you like this, but it’s happening and I’m glad it is.” Kyungsoo’s tears never stopped flowing even after he started yelling at Jongin. “Take one good look at this glass. Remember how it was before? You don’t? Good, don’t even think about it. It’s how we are now, shattered and ready to sweep up and be gone with.” Kyungsoo picked up a piece of glass and stared at it. “To what we used to have. Goodbye.” Kyungsoo threw it as far as he could down the hallway and listened to the sound of the glass shatter. It was something that seemed a lot better than Jongin’s apology. Kyungsoo noticed that Jongin wasn’t tearing one bit. It was clear that Jongin had moved on a while ago and was waiting for Kyungsoo to do so. Kyungsoo made his way towards the outside before stopping “It’s a funny thing since you’ve already moved on… You don’t have to deal with the ing tears and heartaches. You don’t have to be cry over someone who’s left you… who left you to be alone and have this feeling of sadness and depression all by themselves. Oh yeah, one more thing.” Kyungsoo walked back to the pile of glass and Jongin’s eyes followed Kyungsoo. He picked up another piece of glass. “December 25, 2013 – January 9, 2014. Do Kyungsoo and Kim Jongin.” Again the shattered glass could be heard down the hallway. It seems like this glass was thrown farther than the other one. Kyungsoo stopped by Jongin one more time before leaving the school. “Happy Early Birthday. Hope you got the breakup you wanted.” Kyungsoo walked out of the school. Jongin felt the tears coming in. “Don’t leave… I love you Do Kyungsoo.”

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Yeah… sorry to have to end the chapter this way, it’s not the end of the story, though! :D Don’t think I’m ending it there! >:D Sorry to make Kyungsoo look so unnaturally mad. Who could expect this kid to be angry? Anyways, this turned out a whole differently than when I first planned it. I didn't expect this to all happen... Wow... Well, I hope you liked that one! :D