BLACK

"MOM! NO, DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T GO!" A doctor came rushing in and then checked all the monitors to make sure that what happened actually did happen. A nurse came rushing in as well to help the doctor. And one more doctor came in. The nurse walked over to Luhan and patted him on the back while pulling him away from his mom. He had a strong grip on his mother and wouldn't let her go. 
"I'm sorry about what happened," she said softly, but Luhan couldn't hear her over the loudness of his crying. Why did it have to be where when things were starting to get better, he lost his mother? Luhan was upset by this, but also mad. He just didn't know it at the time. The nurse eventually pulled Luhan away from his mother, but in a way where he wouldn't be traumatized. She eased into it and told him that he needed to stay calm and have the doctors handle the situation. The nurse handles situations like this all the time and visitors can't be on the person and not allow the doctors to get to the patient. They have to perform a small amount of procedures to see if they can bring the person back to life. Perhaps the heart gave out for an unknown reason or maybe there wasn't enough blood flowing through. Emergency situations calls for doctors to have all the space they can have. The doctors checked all they could and performed what they possibly could to help Mrs. Han. But all seemed to fail and the end result was clear: Mrs. Han had passed away. Luhan and the rest of his family are completely immobilized when he hears the final news from the doctor taking care of her. 
"I'm sorry ... She's gone..." The doctor bows and waits for a reply from anyone. Luhan is the only one not crying anymore because he is in complete shock now. His sister and father are full of tears and all they could do was nod.  What else could you say? Would you thank the doctor for telling you the news? After a minute the doctor left and the family just continued crying. Luhan remembers the events in his head as he hears his mom's last words over and over again. He thinks about what has happened through his life because of her and what had just recently happened. It all didn't matter how she felt about him when he was born, or when he left to go with Sehun. All that mattered was that she at least told him that she loved him. 

***~~~***

Two hours later, Sehun and his mother arrived at the hospital after hearing the news. Luhan had not wanted to tell them right away because he didn't want the two families feeling awkward around each other. But he made an excuse and said he was too much in shock to think straight, which wasn't a lie. Sehun ran up to Luhan and gave him a tight hug followed up by a kiss on the lips. 
"I'm so sorry this happened!" Luhan was still crying and continued crying on Sehun's chest. He buried his face and let out the pain that had been with him all day. Mrs. Oh then signaled Sehun to get off so she can comfort Luhan. 
"Luhan, I know how you feel to lose your mother. I felt the same way when I lost her at the age of 15. I was crying my eyes out and wondering how I would challenge the world without her support. I loved her very much and she loved me and seeing her go, I felt like I couldn't even cope with the world." 
"Thanks Mrs. Oh..." Luhan's sentence was broken due to the sobbing. 
"Sweety, you will get through this and I will be here whenever you need me. No one in the world can replace your mother, I understand that. But live your life to the fullest and successfully for the irreplaceable people in your life." 
"Thank you again... It's just that," Luhan sat up and looked at Sehun and Mrs. Oh, "I have this feeling of regret in me... I just feel like she still had some anger for me before she left. How can I ever get her to forgive me now?" 
"I am sure your mother wouldn't take grudges with her to Heaven. If she wanted to go, she would've gone peacefully right? Although she may not have expressed it, you have to know that she loves you very much. Whether she is on Earth or watching from above, she is always smiling at you and constantly love you." Luhan smiled and nodded his head. He wiped away the tears and then hugged Mrs. Oh. 
"I'm truly grateful for you, thank you." Sehun smiled at the nice sight of his boyfriend getting along with his mother, but also at the fact that Mrs. Oh could take away Luhan's guilt and feelings for a short time. 

***~~~***

Luhan doesn't want to think of the funeral too much, but it went by fast. He remembers dressing up and black and then just arriving at the church, hearing people speak about his mom, himself going up to speak about his mom and ending the ceremony. There were many tears there and many apologies. Close family members stayed with Luhan and his family members, while others came to say their condolences, bring flowers, and leave. Mrs. Han was a very well liked woman, with numerous people attending the event. Luhan didn't even know some of the people there and his dad would tell him who they were. Some were coworkers, some we're close friends, others were just people that she had met during church. It surprised Luhan that she touched so many lives. 
"You are incredible, Mom." He said as he looked back before stepping out of church. 

***~~~***

Luhan looked out the window and into the deep, empty clouds. His eyes were fixed on the dark blue scenery that was beyond the glass. Nothing really went through his mind, he was enjoying the silence and the time being alone. Sehun had offered to stay the night, but Luhan declined. Somehow, the ambience in the room was also very enjoyable. It wasn't a dark, silent room, but more of a transformation in silence. Luhan had been gazing at the stars for a good hour without moving his fixed position. He kept staring and staring and let his thoughts flow everywhere it wanted to. This was his way of getting rid of worries, or anything that bothered him. The first few minutes would be about the situation itself, but slowly it turned into a meditation movement in his head where new thoughts would kick the negative ones out. Sometimes it took ten minutes, other times it took up to three hours. It all depended on the situation, and not the severity. Finally after two hours of gazing, the young boy's eyes began to drop and slowly, he would exchange his view of the stars and moon for a dream. Before he fell into a deep sleep for good, he could've sworn he heard his mother's voice. 
"Goodnight my son... I love you and I always will... No matter what."

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I'm sorry if I messed up on details about funerals and how they work. Fortunately, I have never been to one and I hope to not go to one for a very very long time. How do you guys feel about Mrs. Han's sudden death? I didn't want things to lighten up for this reason... Much much tension and then BOOM... Death. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter! ^.^